Lainey had her first tardy today. She wouldn't tell the school secretary her name. She was too afraid. I don't think she's ever talked to her before.

Brady and I were 35 minutes late to our meeting this morning. It was either take a shower and be late or be on time and probably not get a shower the rest of the day.

I made it to school in time for kindergarten pick up, barely. I left Daddy babysitting Brady via cell phone in our running van while I ran to get her from the pick up line.

Brady was late getting dropped off for an afternoon playdate.

I was late getting to Cub Scouts, where I'd volunteered to substitute. I had to leave early to get Lainey to ballet.

But she was late to that, too.

Which meant that I was late picking up Brady from his play date.

And then dinner didn't get on the table in time because my clock has been behind all day, so when the financial planner showed up for our scheduled appointment, we were still eating our dinner- eggs and toast.

And then, finally, I sat down and was allowed to feel the angst, anger, frustration, and aggravation I'd been feeling all day. And it all came out. In snide, rude, short comments to Tyler in front of the financial planner. I'm sure that guy thinks I'm the witchiest wife in the Burg. And while some of my anger was correctly aimed, most of it was just me lashing out about my day.

So now I feel a little guilty- okay, a lot guilty. Tomorrow will be better, right?

I should've known where this day was heading when I left for my morning walk...

10 minutes late.

Best week ever...

We left the 'Burg last week for some much needed R and R. Grandma had the best rates, accommodations, and attractions, so we headed to the 'west side' as we Burgians like to call it. I don't know if I was just desperate for a break from the everyday or if Mom and Dad's is really that fun, but I had a GREAT week and so did my kids. Just so we don't forget the fun, here is a rundown of what we did:

-went to White's to window shop. May sound lame to you, but definitely gets you in the holiday spirit and I LOVE it!
-had a family dinner with my brother and his family on Sunday with some awesome pumkin bars/cake made by Shannon, recipe from Paula Deen (you need to make these, so good!)
-went to IKEA, bought fun stuff, and we had lunch there- first time I've ever eaten there! Swedish Meatballs, yum!
-went to the temple with my Dad. Loved it.
-went halfway to Canada for Thanksgiving with the Somes. Just like the good ol' days!
-went Black Friday shopping for the first time ever! Crazy, crazy, crazy!!! But we are 95% done Christmas shopping, just have 2 things to buy online.
-visit with the Miller brothers and their families. So nice to see family and that free children's museum was off the hook! (does anyone say that anymore?)
-went to Molbaks Nursery and saw every kind of Poinsettia there is (holy cow, there's a lot)
-took my kids and my mom, the former children's librarian, to the Seattle Children's Theatre to see an adaptation of 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie'. Grandma and I agree. We don't know what was better: the actual show or hearing Lainey and Brady laugh through the entire thing! It definitely was the highlight of the week for us. Hopefully the boys loved watching a little uninterrupted football while we were out.
-played lots of cards, colored oodles of pictures, and chatted it up in between!

And if you think I took any pictures of anything at all, then you are WRONG! Since Santa and I made a rather large purchase on Black Friday, I know this problem of lack of photographic evidence will be remedied after Dec. 25th. Thanks for a fun week, Mom and Dad!!!!!!

How we celebrate the holidays in the 'Burg

This Saturday, you can see (and I quote from our local newscaster) "beautifully lit tractors, horse trailers, and other farm equipment."

Does this seem odd to anyone else?

If you know us, you'll get it...

"Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come."


Joseph F Smith

Joseph F. Smith's words are how I feel about ALL my babies, but this next one especially! A little over 2 years ago, my doctor told me that I wouldn't get help getting pregnant (like I had with Brady) unless I first lost some weight. A few months of grumbling, a move, 95 lbs lost, and a miscarriage later, we are more excited than words to be expecting baby #3! I don't say all this to have anyone feel bad for me, but to help you all feel a little bit of our immense and indescribable joy and happiness!!! I feel a little guilty that I got the blessing I'd been praying for when I know of so many yet unanswered prayers. If I've learned anything from our 'wait' and months of 'trying' its that our lives are in the Lord's hands and I don't want to be anywhere else.

So baby #3 is due May 18th and is cookin along nicely. The kids are excited. Lainey gets it a bit better than Brady, obviously, and is really hoping for a sister. (me too!) We'll see!

Better late than never...

A cute little witch and a Charlie Brown ghost. The ghosts on that cartoon are so much cuter in animation than when you try to do it in real life! By the end of the day, the eye holes turned into a head hole and I was Brady's maid of honor, carrying his train of white fabric all around town! Wasn't Brady's favorite costume. Lesson learned, next year will be Spiderman. By the way, I post nearly zero pictures of Brady, and here he finally is and all you get is an ankle!!!

The Sound of Silence

I never thought this moment would come. Actually, I knew it would come, I just really never anticipated having it yet.

My house is empty. Well, except for me. Lainey's at school and Brady is at a playdate. I can hear the clock ticking, literally.

I'm lost without them.

I've never been the kind of mom who seeks after alone time, never needed to hide in a closet. Oh, I've had my moments of frustration, for sure. And I've declared loudly that I needed girl time, but usually it was because I wanted to go have a little fun more than it was because I was sick to death of my children.

I decided to use my two free hours perusing Fred Meyer. It's the only place to 'shop' in town and Lainey needed some leggings. I've never really complained about taking my kids shopping with me. It's no sunny day beachside in the Bahamas, but it's also not being strapped to the dentist's chair while a drill hums expectantly in the background. While in Freddie's, I meandered. Yes, that is a complete sentence. And just ponder on that for a moment. I am a mother, I am busy taking care of my family, and today, I meandered. It was a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, there is only so much to peruse at Fred Meyer, so I came home to my empty house.

On my way home, I thought about these lonely hours I now need to fill. You wanna know why this seems so odd? Because it wasn't really my plan. When I had my first baby, I thought I would just keep on having babies until I was done. My house would just circle through all stages of babyhood and toddlerhood and youth until I was 'done'. But what we expect to happen isn't always what actually happens. And for some reason, that has been a hard truth for me to learn. Things always work out 'how they should' in the end, but having faith that 'how they should' is really how things should go when 'how they should' isn't what your 'how they should' was when you started this whole thing is hard to accept. At least for me. But maybe I'm the only one that struggles with that. And maybe I'm the only one that understood that particular sentence. Either way, it's cathartic to write it down.

I get to go pick up Brady now. Then we pick up Lainey. 2 hours really isn't that long, but I think I'm going to need some good ideas of things I can do to fill this time. I could read my current book (Catching Fire, second book in the Hunger Games trilogy. Pretty darn good.) but I can do that later. Any ideas, ladies? I'd love to go to a movie by myself, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any showings at 9 a.m. What I really need is a Target to get lost in...

You thought I was going to be posting regularly again, didn't you???

I haven't been blogging because I've been cooking. Well, cooking and other stuff, but I really just want to tell you about the cooking. Losing all that weight made me search for ways to be busy and one way for me to be busy (and to tell my mind that food was coming) was to cook really yummy food. It's become my latest hobby and I don't anticipate getting bored with this one. Someday I might start a recipe blog, but first I need a new camera, some more time, and some motivation to actually do it. If I can't keep this thing updated, how on earth would I keep another blog up to date??

But back to my point. Want to share some yummy recipes.

My fridge is stuffed to the gills with leftovers. Currently residing in my clear plastic Tupperware is this soup. This is like a better version of comfort food. So good.

Also, we've got some of this girl's Roasted Corn and Black Bean Salad. I've been trying many different versions of black bean and corn salads. This is by far the best one. My search ended the first time I tried this one! Great on the side of a yummy burger.

This is a new favorite stir fry, and I happen to find a decent deal on pineapple this week, which was random, so we stir fried it up!
Sweet and Sour Pork and Pineapple Stir Fry (from Pampered Chef)
1 lb pork tenderloin
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbl plus 1 tsp cornstarch, divided
2 c. (7 oz) sugar snap peas
1 medium pineapple
1 bell pepper (I added this, can't have stir fry without peppers!)
3 tbl soy sauce
2 tbl rice vinegar
1/3 c apricot preserves
1 tbl veg oil
1 medium red onion cut into 1/2 thick chunks (optional)
3 c cooked rice

1. Cut the pork tenderloin into 1/2 in to 1 in. chunks. Mix with 2 tbl cornstarch and salt. Set aside.
2. Mix the soy sauce, remaining cornstarch, and vinegar. Add the apricot preserves and set this bowl aside as well.
3. Cut the ends of the snap peas and slice them in half, slice the pineapple into chunks, cut the onion.
4. Heat the oil in the pan till it's hot. Add the pork and cooked undisturbed for 4-6 minutes (I had to stir mine sooner). Turn over chunks and cook another minute or two. Add the onion and cook for one minute more.
5. Add veggies and sauce. Cook until sauce thickens, which should only take a couple of minutes. Serve over rice!

We also have loved this soup for years. Once the weather turned cooler, this is the first soup I cooked up.
Black Bean Soup from Tosha Stapelman
1 tbl olive oil
1 onion chopped
1 carrot shredded
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp ground cumin
1-2 tsp chopped jalapenos, divided
2 15 oz cans black beans, undrained
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes (love to use petite), undrained
1 1/2 c low salt chicken broth
fresh chopped cilantro
fresh chopped grn onions
feta cheese

Heat oil in lg pot. Add onion, carrot and garlic. Saute till soften. Mix in cumin and 1 tsp of jalapeno. Add beans, tomatoes and broth. Bring to a boil and simmer for 15- 30 minutes. The original recipe said to puree 1/2 the soup in a blender, but why dirty the dishes? I love a chunky soup. Garnish each bowl with cilantro, green onion, feta cheese, and remaining jalapeno. Great with cornbread.

Made this pasta. Good gravy, was it delicious! Best use of pesto in a main dish (besides on a panini) I've ever tried. Also made it with their bread sticks, too. Yummy!

I'm thinking we're going to have to do leftovers for a couple of nights, just to get all this eaten! But I'd love to hear about your refrigerators.

What leftovers are sitting in your fridge that you can't wait to devour?

Worry Wart

I'm a self proclaimed worry wart. I worry about a lot of things a lot of the time. I come by my worrying naturally, just ask my mother. Can I share one of my latest worries with you? I know its only our first week, but my poor daughter looks so forlorn on the school playground. We arrive to school with enough time for her to play, but she just stares at the people around her. She tried to play with a friend from soccer, but the friend has her own agenda and doesn't really need someone to tag along with her. So there my baby stands, alone, gazing at the dozens of children joyfully relishing their last few moments before the bell sounds. I stand back and give her a chance to figure it out, but, gosh, my heart is breaking! I want to shout to all those other kids that they'd be lucky to have a friend as nice as Lainey and that she is the best at make believe and she (almost never) cheats in games and she knows great jokes! But I hold back because going to school is a lot about finding independence, right? It's the first week. I gotta stop worrying and give her time. But a fashion maven such as this

must have a pretty spectacular personality, right? Flowered shirt, heart shorts and striped socks. . . If only I had such self assurance!

Ready to Learn and Get Some Knowledge!

First day of School! First day of School!

This girl had her first day of school today! I didn't cry, she didn't cry. Brady, however, did. He desperately wanted to stay and play. She's in am kindergarten and every five minutes from about 10:15 till we picked her up at 11:15 Brady asked me if we could go get Lainey. Don't know if he was excited to ride his bike to the school again or if he was really anxiously awaiting big sister's return, but for her sake, we'll say it was the latter.

I wish I could report all the fun things she did, but, sadly, she didn't have much to say other than it was fun and she was good. I guess that's something, right? She did learn to play 'copycat' at music time. Isn't that lovely?

BTW, I chose bag #3, in the butter yellow. Love it.

Was it worth it?

We've been paying a pretty steep tuition every month.

She's complained about going repeatedly.

We've suffered through the required pony tail-ing required for class each week.

We even did fund-raisers for the studio. (don't even get me started on that one)

Tyler spent a good hour or so repairing the silly, costly, and yet extremely cheap costume after one rehersal.

I actually volunteered to chaperone 8 little prima-donas for 10 plus hours the week of the performance. (I'm crazy, I know.)

Was it worth it? You tell me.

Something new and different...

I have a stack of papers sitting in my kitchen, papers that I think are very important.

It's a big stack. With lots of blank lines. About 8,000 blank lines, to be precise.

Why are the lines blank, you wonder? Well, those little lines are awaiting to be filled with some people's John Hancocks.

I'm getting involved, which is something new and different for me. Really. I've never done the 'politcially active' thing before, but I am now.

On May 1st, I sat in a meeting with thousands of women of my faith and heard a woman I admire ask us to fight for families, so I'm fighting. Literally. I'm gathering signatures for Referendum-71, in response to State Bill 5688. State Bill 5688 is a bill that has been called the 'everything but marriage' bill and allows same sex couples to have many/most of the same legal benefits as traditionally married couples.

I've heard many people say that they don't care if same sex couples have equal 'marriage' rights as long as they don't change the definition of marriage and as long as it doesn't directly affect their family. Friends, if this bill does not get overturned these things are exactly what will happen. Most concerning to me is that same sex couples will be able to bring litigation against the state to have the Defense of Marriage Act overturned, thus changing the state's definition of marriage and allowing same-sex couples to be married.

I do not claim to be knowledgeable about the legalities of this, but I do know that the line MUST be drawn. We have been asked, as responsible citizens, "to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society." Nearly 30 years ago, Spencer W Kimball said, "There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. . . The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us." I believe that this is the time we are in.

Sister Beck has said, "Families worldwide are being assaulted and weakened by corrupt practices and false teachings. Therefore, whether we are married or single, old or young, we have a duty to defend and practice the truths found in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." " She has also said, "We cannot sit and act like victims. This is the fault of a determined adversary and we have to take responsibility of defending our homes." And finally, from Neal A. Maxwell, "Unless we are filled with resolve, what will we say to the heroes and heroines of Martin's Cove and the Sweetwater? That 'we admire you, but we are reluctant to wade through our own rivers of chilling adversity?' By divine appointment, these are our days. Moreover, though we live in a failing world, we have not been sent here to fail."

Friends, if you live in Washington State or know people who do, please get the word out and find out how you can get your name on a petition. We need to collect approximately 150,000 signatures by July 22nd to bring State Bill 5688 to voters this fall. If you would like more information, please visit www.protectmarriagewa.com.

HELP!!!

I should be blogging about our fab camping trip (trailer camping with heating at night- totally the way to go), or my fab weekend in Utah with my Mom and sisters (minus one) for Women's Conference (Sister Beck... Brad Wilcox... holy guacomole it was great) or I could post all the pictures of Brady's fun birthday celebration, but instead, I blog to plead for your assistance, dear readers.

I need a new handbag.

I've found 3 online that I like and can't decide between them. To help you help me choose, let me tell you a little bit about what I'm looking for. I don't go for the huge bag where every thing gets dumped in it and lost. I know big bags are all the rage, but I just can't handle the bottomlessness of a ginormous tote every time I have to search for my wallet. I don't carry diapers or baby stuff in my bag, so I don't want something huge. Having said that, I like something with a little extra room for the occasional toy and since we're potty training now, maybe room for some spare shorts and underwear, but room for that certainly isn't necessary. I'm not into spending lots of money on a bag either. Chances are in 6 months I'll want another new one, so what's the point of spending lots on a bag?

So friends, please click each link and tell me what you think as I seem unable to make this decision on my own.

Bag #1- I'm mostly worried about this bag being huge. They have the dimensions but I don't know how big or small that really is...

Bag #2- This one is a little pricey, but I do really like it. Can't decide if it's worth the price, though.

Bag #3- My only hang up about this one is that its pretty similar to the bag I have now, except the color. It is cuter than my current bag, but I dunno...

Total coincedence that they are all Nine West bags. Nine West must just make bags that appeal to my style or something. So friends, comment away! I'm in desperate need of bag buying advice from some people more stylish than me!

Lainey finally lost her first tooth.

It was hanging on by a thread but she wouldn't let us pull it and she wouldn't do anything more than wiggle it. It would occassionally get stuck sideways and she'd have a minor panic attack, but always righted it after a few deep breaths.

Today it came out.

So what is the first thing she does?? She checks out her new smile in the bathroom, of course! Then she runs to Mommy and Daddy's bathroom. To check out her smile in another mirror? No. She said, and I quote, "I wanna see how big I am now."(by weighing herself)

I smiled.

Then she promptly attempted whistling and was delighted to find that it is much easier with a tooth missing.

Our week so far... statistically speaking

Birthdays celebrated: 1

30 pancakes, one for each year

Cupcakes made: 45

Cupcakes devoured by grateful co-workers: 41

Chocolate buttermilk cupcakes with peanut butter frosting or peanut butter cupcakes with chocolate frosting... Tyler loves PB cups.

Miles biked around town (while pulling both my kids, mind you): 12

New recipes tried: 7

Ty's birthday dinner: homemade baked taquitos with homemade guac, homemade salsa, and cilantro lime sour cream dip. Oh, and Rachel Ray's corn and black bean salad.
Tyler's birthday cake- my first cheesecake! A turtle cheesecake with creamy carmel and pecans beneath a yummy, rich chocolate cheesecake. All from scratch!

Number of crockpot meals: 2

Sticks collected on nature walks: too many to count

Playdates requiring mommy intervention: 1

Crafts needed to get playdate back on track: 2

pipe cleaner flowers

and tissue paper butterflies

Picnics at the park: 1

Number of songs on our favorite ipod playlist that's been playing all day every day: 16

Days above 75 degrees: 3

Trips to the library: 2

On deck for the remainder of the week:

ballet class

church meeting

meal planning for camping trip
grocery shopping for camping trip
packing for camping trip

cleaning trailer for camping trip

driving to campsite for camping trip

enjoying camping trip

See you next week, friends!

30 Things About Tyler for his 30th year...

1. He loves scouting. He even went to a "Jamboree" when he was a Boy Scout. How much of a scouting nerd to you gotta be to even KNOW such a thing exists?

2. He is a sports enthusiast... and that's putting it mildly. Watching, playing, or talking about 'em. He can carry on a conversation about any sport at any time. I don't know when or how he keeps up on all this information or how he remembers all those statistics, but it's somewhere in his brain!

3. He is a BYU alum and is so stinkin proud of that. (and so am I!) Go Cougs!

4. He has broken many bones, but only two since we've been married. They just happen to be at the same time...

5. Tyler has ADHD and if you know him well, this explains a lot. And in a funny way, endears him to you even more.

6. Tyler's mom passed away on his birthday in 1996. It kinda makes his birthday bittersweet, but I know she would want us to celebrate Tyler and so we do!

7. Tyler is, of course, a fantastic father. How many dads have you caught doing ballet with their daughters in the family room???

8. Tyler loves salty treats. He recently told me that his favorite treat was popcorn, not chocolate or ice cream or something from the candy aisle. No, give my man popcorn to make his cravings dissipate!

9. He absolutely hates mushrooms. I feed them to him anyway (like twice a year).

10. Tyler has really weird toes. Some are hammer toes. And he gets ingrown toe nails really easily. Let's just say sandal season isn't the best time for Tyler's feet, between the funky toes and the grotesquely long toe nails!

11. Tyler's appendix burst a few years ago while he was on a scout hike. (See #1) His loving wife told him to take some Mylanta and stop complaining...

12. Tyler is the middle of 5 children (like me!).

13. His favorite books are Harry Potter. He has probably analyzed the story and the characters more than even J.K. Rowling herself!

14. Tyler has an awesome wife!

15. Tyler has lost 45 pounds this last year without hardly batting an eye, which aggravates his awesome wife who has worked hard to lose her extra weight.

16. Tyler has many little known talents. While we were dating, he decorated a cake for me and has done Lainey's birthday cake at least once that I can think of.

17. Another little known talent Tyler has is his artistic ability. Tyler is actually a great artist and use to enjoy painting. I'm constantly telling him to get back into it, but he never seems to be able to find the time.

18. Tyler has an innate ability to fall asleep within 60 seconds. Seriously. His head hits the pillow and he can be asleep faster than you can say "Good night."

19. Since leaving BYU, Tyler has had 6 different jobs. We left BYU a little less than 5 years ago... you do the math.

20. Tyler loves to grill. If I let him, he'd grill every night all year long!

21. When I asked Lainey to tell me something about Daddy, she said that he loved to watch and play football. When I told her I'd already put that on my list and asked her for something else, she said that he loves us. I think that makes him pretty special, because sometimes we're not the easiest group to love, are we, Lainey?

22. Tyler served a mission for our church in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

23. Tyler has been lucky enough to travel all over the world to places like Europe, Japan, and Australia.

24. Tyler is a GREAT gift giver. When Mother's Day, birthdays, or holidays come around, I am always surprised by his extreme thoughtfulness.

25. We are lucky that Tyler is pretty handy around the house and can fix most things himself. He loves tools and figuring out how things work.

26. Tyler is an extremely hard worker and, luckily, finds a great amount of enjoyment in what he does so not only does he work hard, but is happy at his job. Any wife or working man knows that this is a great blessing! We love a happy husband/daddy!

27. Tyler has amazingly green eyes. For the past 7+ years, I have wished for a child with his incredible eyes. Haven't gotten any green eyed babies yet, but here's hoping someday!

28. Much like my own dad, Tyler is very outgoing. He can carry on a conversation about anything with anyone.

29. Tyler is a typical 'kid at heart' to the point of goofiness and loves to play with the kids on their level and with a lot of attention to imaginative detail. What more could a mother ask for in a father?

30. Not only does he have an awesome wife, but she loves him. Desperately. Funny word, desperate. It's interesting to me that it is the most fitting word I can think of to describe my love for Tyler. I love him desperately. There really is no better way to say it. We've only been together for 8 of his 30 years, but it seems like my life didn't start until I met him. And things just keep getting better and better. Not easier or happier just better than it ever has been, although a lot of days life is easier with him in it and happier when he's around. I couldn't ask for more.

Love you, babe!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Even though I've got lots to do today,

I've committed to blogging about our lives before this day is through. (read: This post will be boring. Proceed at your own risk.)

But I don't really know where to start because I've missed blogging about SO much lately.

I guess I could tell you about our fun trip to Spokane in February/March. We got to go hang out with family which is always fun. We celebrated a birthday with an adorable cousin/niece. I went shopping like a mad woman, was introduced to the glories of such retail divinity as DownEast Basics and Spokane Discount. I even got to see some girls from high school. It's so funny how we all 'grow up', but are really mostly the same... I think. The highlight of my trip (and could be a whole blog post in and of itself) was going to the Spokane Temple for the first time since my WEDDING! It's the temple that I watched be built. It's the temple where I dusted the molding, took nonmembers to the open house and ushered at the dedication. It's the temple where I went the first time and where I was sealed to my sweet husband for time and all eternity. The only thing that might have made it better would have been if Tyler had made the trip with me.

I could also tell you that sometime in the weeks of my slacker blogging I lost more weight. My grand total is now 90 pounds. And I'm done. Just in maintenance mode now. Trying to figure out a good balance in this post-weight loss life of mine.

I know you'd all be proud of my attempts at domestication. Been branching out in the kitchen. I've made homemade whole wheat bread (that is to die for, YUM), homemade pesto, hummus, cakes, cookies, and entrees from a gaggle of sites. I've discovered that I enjoy cooking, who knew?

We also took a trip to Boise for Conference Weekend to see family and friends. A girls night, a family dinner, and a conference brunch. We had such a fun weekend! Here's a pic of me and my girls! I love them. Some day I'll find words to tell you all what amazing women these girls are and how they are the PERFECT friends.

We also moved, but you knew that. We've been settling in nicely, but doing so has definitely taken some of our spare moments. And I must say we are loving living across the street from a school and a short walk from the City park. We go at least a few times a week to play. And when it's too cold to play outside, Lainey, Brady, and I have been enjoying some pretty rockin' dance parties in our family room, courtesy of nickjr.com's NickJr Radio with songs from all our favorite shows.

We registered for kindergarten... and Mom accidentally brought the wrong birth certificate. Oops! All I had to do was bring the kid, her birth certificate, and shot record. This school thing is already too complicated for me. What's a mother to do?

We had a lovely Easter with all the traditional traditions. Egg dying, egg hunt, new church clothes. The Bunny even brought gifts this year instead of just treats because she was so tired of telling herself she couldn't spoil her kids, so she decided Easter was a good excuse to do so, thank you very much.

And with all this that's happened (of which I have ZERO pictures), the next few weeks are going to be just as fun. We've got a hot date on Saturday to a formal hospital foundation dinner. And we're looking forward to a trip at the end of the month. And then I get to hit the road with my mom to spend a weekend at Women's Conference without any kiddos!!! And then Brady's birthday is the week after and with it comes my commitment to potty train. I'm sure you'll hear more about that one. As a mother, I've failed miserably to deliver a fun birthday for my boy, but I'm determined to make this one great! And then we'll bring on the underpants!

And before you know it, it'll be summer and we'll be busy enjoying that, too!

Its at times like these...

that I am grateful to have a son to enjoy this with!!!!



Although I'm sure daughters (including mine) will enjoy it, too, but I'm just sayin...

For Easter, one of my favorite quotes...

"We know that on some level Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It’s our faith that he experienced everything–absolutely everything. Sometimes we don’t think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don’t experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means Jesus knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer–how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student-body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked, and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.

There is nothing you have experienced as a woman that he does not also know and recognize. On a profound level, he understands about pregnancy and giving birth. He knows about PMS and cramps and menopause. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion.

His last recorded words to his disciples were, “And lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.” (Matthew 28:20) What does that mean? It means he understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say that the new baby has Down Syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only children who ever come are visitors, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years. He knows all that. He’s been there. He’s been lower than all that.

So do you really think you’re shielding him by keeping the door closed while you’re throwing paper plates on the table and sending Chrissie off to wash her hands for the second time? Do you really think he doesn’t know? doesn’t understand? wouldn’t laugh and help? "Oh no," you say." I couldn't let you do that." and you rush out, carefully closing the door behind you.

...But he’ll stay in that room if you put him there. The door to him is always open, but the door to you can be closed and stay closed - if you choose to close it. If one great constant in the universe is the unfailing love of the Savior, the other great constant is his unfailing respect for human agency. He will not override your will, even for you own good. He will not compel you to accept his help. He will not force you to accept his companionship. He leaves you free to choose.

I beg you to open the door and let him out of that room. Give him your whole heat, all the pieces, and let him heal you. He promises, "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13.) With all our hearts. That means we don’t have pieces of our hearts that he doesn’t touch or that aren’t relevant to him.

He’s not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came to save us in our imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He’s not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief.

You know that people who live above a certain latitude and experience long winter nights can become depressed and even suicidal, because something in our bodies requires whole spectrum light for a certain number of hours a day. Our spiritual requirement for light is just as desperate and as deep as our physical need for light. Jesus is the light of the world. We know that this world is a dark place sometimes, but we need not walk in darkness. The people who sit in darkness have seen a great light, and the people who walk in darkness can have a bright companion. We need him, and he is ready to come to us, if we’ll open the door and let him."

Chieko N. Okazaki, Lighten Up, p.174-176

Spring...

We had a beautiful day here in the 'Burg yesterday. The kids got to play outside. I was thrilled! I've waited for this day all winter long. And it was a long winter. I even wrote a post about it, but waited to publish it until I had the perfect picture. Today started off much the same. Sun shining, birds twittering, no chilly bite in the air today! Surely I'd get a perfect 'Spring has arrived' picture today. But first, off the kids went to play. Those glorious moments of a quiet home while the kids play are treasures for a mother to be sure.

But then things started to get troublesome. The mud puddle was a hot spot for playing yesterday as evidenced by the cake like brown stuff all over shoes and pant knees, so my first foray outside was to ask them to find something else to play outside. Suprisingly, they complied although nothing can be more exciting to a budding imagination than fresh mud, can it?

Bugs. Bugs can be more exciting to a budding imagination. Although I personally don't see the interest, I understand the necessity for my children to have a healthy amount of curiousity about all things creepy crawly and left them to their play. Only when they decided to throw rocks at the bugs that were on the house did I venture outside for a second time.

I went back inside, intent on getting some packing done while I watched Barefoot Contessa whip up a delicious treat. A few minutes later I realized Lainey and Brady must've found something else exciting to do outside because all was quiet from the back door. After a few of those treasured, quiet moments, Lainey bursts in.

They had found a pet.

They made him a salad but he wasn't hungry.

It was like a spider, but it was maybe a mouse.

His eyes were open, Mom!

They named him something, but I don't remember what because at that precise moment Brady walked in waving his little fist excitedly, fingers clutched around something small and gray...their new pet.

A dead mouse.

A girly screech eeked out of my throat and I started yelling at Brady to get it out of the house. We washed hands and discussed that we don't touch outside animals ever. Especially dead ones. And we certainly don't proudly wave them in Mom's face.

Knowing I'd share the story with you, I took a picture of the thing sitting on my back porch where Brady tossed it because I haven't gathered the courage to go give it a proper burial in a garbage sack. But then I thought that a picture of my dead mouse isn't really the perfect spring picture, is it? So all you get is the story.

You can thank me later.


Happy spring, friends.

In other news, Lainey has her first bonafide loose tooth. Big things happening around here, yessiree.

St. Paddy's Limericks

Since I had so much fun with this last year, here is round 2. Once again, feel free to limerick it up in my comments section if you're feelin the shamrock love.

There once was a girl out of her groove

Who's husband kept making her move

Her life in a small city

Left her wanting pity

But she knew things were sure to improve.

(Yes, we're moving again. Saturday. I'll explain more if I ever have the time. Local move. It's really a good thing. And I don't really want pity, but it is so hard to find so many words that rhyme!)

There once was a man in a small town

Who liked to act like a ginormous clown.

He loved his family a lot

Was proud of the wife he'd caught

And wouldn't let life or his wife keep him down.

Our girl in the Burg has grown older

But still doesn't do what I told her.

She loves her dance class

And has got loads of sass

I, of course, have been the one to mold her.

The boy in the Burg with a full diaper

Has gotten more and more hyper

As the year has gone by

Although the time seems to fly

I am still the one who is his butt wiper.

A few helpful hints about limericks for those daring enough to try to write one.

1. They are always 5 lines.

2.Their rhyming pattern is always AABBA.

3. The are usually nonsensical and silly.

4. They often mention a place in the first line.

Luck o' the Irish to ye!

Happy St. Pat's Day!

So this is love...

Last Saturday night (the Saturday that was a week ago, not yesterday) Lainey and I were rushing and scrambling to get ready for a little excitement.  We had to get all dolled up and glamified for a night out in the 'Burg.  Tyler and I had wisely not mentioned our little girl's night out until earlier that afternoon.  Who wants to hear "Is today the day we...?"  or "Is it Saturday yet?" all week long.  Because if you have kids you know exactly what I'm talking about.  At our house, we avoid these types of interrogations at all costs.  Secrecy is a vow that we keep as parents in order to keep our sanity. 

But we broke our sacred vow of secrecy that fateful afternoon because the thing we were going to was that night.  And boy was she thrilled.  Mommy was thrilled, too, because more than I love my sanity, I love being the one to make my daughter thrilled.  She even put itchy tights on without fuss!  Miracle of miracles!  As I rushed to get ready, I asked Tyler to double check the location we were heading to.  He kindly went to the computer to look it up.

"Ty, where is it at?"  I shout, wondering what could be taking so long.

"Honey, what day is today?"  He shouts back.  Huh?

"It's March 7th, right?"  I say, thinking, Why would he ask me that?  I am a stay-at-home-mom.. all my days mesh together.  I hardly remember that days are numbered. 

I hear Tyler walking toward the bathroom.  He meets my eyes in the mirror.  

"Carrie."  Dramatic pause.  "It's not until next Saturday.  It's March 14th."

What?!?!  Oh no.  She's going to be so disappointed.  She even put itchy tights on without a fuss.   The poor girl is going to be heartbroken.  There go all those brownie points I earned that afternoon.  Sigh... 

Oh.  no.  No way.  Ahhh, man.  She's going to be asking me if it's Saturday yet all week!  That dreaded repetitive annoyance that is a child's inability to understand the concept of time would be my plague all week due to my inability to read the darn ad.

So after the tears of a young girl's broken heart and our attempt at salvaging our 'special' night (a trip to the movie store for Tinkerbell and some licorice), I waited for the barrage of questions to begin.  Fortunately, we had Tinkerbell for the whole week as a distraction, but unfortunately we couldn't watch Tink shake her bells all day every day.  We did make it through the week, of course.  Wasn't nearly so bad as I thought, of course.  Lainey's a much better kid than I give her credit for... of course.  So...

After our week of waiting and much anticipation, Lainey and I got all dolled up and glamified once again last night.

And made a real night out of it by going to dinner first.  (Every five seconds she wondered if it was time to go yet and if we were going to be late and if it would start soon and how much longer till we got to go and if she ate enough of her pasta so we could leave)

And then the dream that was a wish in Lainey's 5 year old heart came true.  We watched our local ballet company (Ellensburg's got a ballet company...you can find 'culture' anywhere, I guess) perform their production of Cinderella.  We even got to meet Cinderella after the show!  

And after all that excitement and due to the lateness of the show, we couldn't quite make it home before our eyes got heavy.  (hers, not mine.  No falling asleep at the wheel for me!)

One of my favorite things Lainey says is after a long day like this particularly exciting Saturday.  "Mom, we had a lot of day today."  And it was fun, too!!!

The first thing I said to Tyler when we got home was that he could take her next time.  And if you have ever done something special with your kids, you know this was a huge concession on my part because I would love to horde more than my fair share of Lainey's magic moments and be the one who always saw her eyes sparkle at new experiences, but that wouldn't be fair.  She's half of Tyler, so he deserves to have that face from moments like that etched into his memories just like it is in mine.

Another page in my journey through motherhood filled with sweet memories.  So this is love... loving her face, loving having time for just the two of us, loving being able to give her a small part of what the world has for her to experience, loving her smiles and her joy at simplicity, at creativity, at beauty.

Sean Penn is worried...

About me and my posterity's opinion of me. Isn't that nice?



Well, Sean Penn, I'm so glad to have caught your attention. Funny thing, I really don't think that my children and grandchildren will be ashamed of me. In fact, I think they'll be proud of the moments in my life where I have stood for my convictions, proud that I drew a moral line amongst all of you 'crazy, homo lovin' sons of guns'. Another funny thing, I think that homosexuals do have the same rights as me. They just don't have the rights they want. But you probably aren't interested in understanding me, are you, Sean Penn? So happy to see you using your platform and your expansive knowledge of everything to promote a movie that you happen to be in.

Ahh, its a good thing this post is all the further I'll think about you today, or probably this week, or maybe even this year (unless you happen to be in another movie and happen to visit Regis and Kelly while I kick some bootie on the elliptical), because unlike you, Mr. Penn, I don't believe that Hollywood actors are the source of all knowledge and, as such, I choose other sources to educate myself on issues regarding morality and politics in our great nation.

The love goes on and on...

We just can't lose that St. Valentine feeling here in the 'Burg although the holiday has come and gone. We are loving so much lately that I wanted to share some of our favorite new loves with you.

• The Magic Jack. Have you heard of it? We get our phone service for $40 a year. Yes, a year, not a month. Magic Jack is a VOIP. We have had Vonage for years and have only been partly satisfied with our service. Magic Jack's service is better than Vonage and loads cheaper. The only downside that we can see so far is that we have to leave the computer on to get phone service, but if we're being honest here, the computer is never off at our house, so it's not a real huge issue. Gosh, I wish Magic Jack was paying me for the glowing endorsement of their product...
• Those of you not familiar with my faith won't get this next love at all. I'm sorry. Email me, I'll explain as best I can. But for all the rest of you, which may in fact be all of you, I have one word for you. Carinessa. Holy cow. And I mean holy. The church has decided to embrace a little spandex. It's a beautiful thing. Revolutionary.
• The ghost that has been haunting our house. He sure looks a lot like Brady, and Brady does all his sound effects, so it's not hard to see why we love him so much. I don't know where Brady got on his 'ghost' kick, but it's so stinkin' cute! He walks around the house "Woo"ing followed by a surprised, "What's that, Mommy?" waiting for us to declare our fright at our friendly ghost.
• Ground turkey. We've been eating it pretty much all the time if we don't go meatless or have chicken. I can count on one hand the number of times I've had ground beef in the last few months. It has 80 fewer calories in a 4 oz serving than ground beef and only 1 gram less protein. It also has 11 grams fewer fat grams per serving. Maybe the taste is acquired, maybe you won't be able to tell a difference. We don't mind the difference and love the healthfulness of it. We definitely watch for sales and have bought most of it at 2.50 a lb or less. If you can find a good deal on 93% extra lean ground beef, its only 10 calories more a serving than the turkey, but I have a hard time finding that lean of beef on sale for 2.50 or less.
• I know I've mentioned it before, but I am still very much in love with the Ann Taylor Loft. Gosh, those people know how to make clothes for women's bodies, or at least this woman's body. I just got this top in a pretty gray and this one in a rich navy and they are so cute! Tyler especially loves the navy one. A lot.
• Cooking blogs. I've printed a kajillion (yes, I really have printed that many, a kajillion...) recipes from blogs and sites I've been perusing. Some of my favorites? Allrecipes.com has a healthy cooking tab and they quite often will list the calorie count of a recipe. Myrecipes.com has all the Cooking Light recipes, so I love that one, too. Love Bakerella, of course. Who doesn't? I mostly just look, but there are few things I'm planning to splurge on. We just tried the Pioneer Woman's Cauliflower soup a couple weeks ago. To. Die. For. We used a bit less butter and evaporated skim milk instead of half n half. And we even forgot the sour cream! Still yummy! Also love Hold the Onions. Real women. Real families. Real food. Yum. A few more good ones I've found: For the Love of Cooking, Becoming Betty, Prudence Pennywise, Smitten Kitchen (although her blog intimidates me A LOT), and oh, I could just go on and on. Ask Tyler. If I've been on a computer, I've been searching for recipes. I don't think my requirements for recipes are too crazy, but I need food that's healthy, that's cheap, and I'd like it to be relatively simple, although I find myself spending more and more time in the kitchen preparing dinner. I'll be sure to share any great new recipes I find!
• The Crafty Crow. I can't tell you what a great idea resource it is. Not only do I have a stack of new recipies, but I've got a list a mile long of things for me and the kids to do on a rainy day (once I can get my hands on some supplies...no craft store in the 'Burg).

We love being in love and would love to hear about any new loves you have! (that means share, people!)

Hot Date Saturday Night

Last Saturday, Ty and I had a hot date.

This Saturday, Lainey, Brady, and I had a hot date.

I'm a lucky girl, aren't I?

We didn't go to a fun restaurant or play a borrowed Wii this week, but instead, stayed in playing with dough that was totally edible (after it was baked... or before it was baked, too, but gotta watch that raw egg business) and yet totally inedible looking.  Ahh, the magic of artificial food coloring.  

If you find yourself in need of a fun project for you and your kids, try these cookies!

Play Dough Cookies

3/4 c. butter, softened

3 oz cream cheese, softened (we used the less fat stuff)

1 c. white sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 3/4 c flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

assorted food coloring

1.  In a bowl, cream butter, cream cheese and sugar until fluffy.  Add egg and vanilla.  Beat until smooth. 

2.  In a bowl combine flour, baking powder, and salt (who really does this???  I just plopped it all in with the wet ingredients).  Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture.  Stir until soft dough forms.

3.  Divide dough into fourths.  Tint each with a different food coloring.  The trick is to use good food coloring.  No, all food coloring is not created equal.  A gel or paste food coloring works best.  The liquid drops will just make pastel colored dough.  For a bright, vibrant colored cookie you gotta get the good stuff.  Wilton's gel food coloring works great.  Wrap each color in plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours.  I just put ours in the freezer for 20 minutes.  It worked great.

4.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Shape colors into balls.  The recipe I have says to shape it into 3/4 inch balls, but this, in the end, will make ginormous cookies, so we made ours half that size and they turned out great.   The kids loved making the balls.  If there is one thing any 2 and 5 year old can do, it's make a ball out of play dough.

5.  For each cookie, put one ball of each color together and roll it into one giant ball.

6.  Roll each multi-colored ball into a snake about 12 inches long.  You now understand why this was such a hit.  Balls and snakes.  More balls and snakes.  Until they were utterly sick of making balls and snakes.  Lainey and Brady loved it!  Starting at one end coil roll to make the cookie.  If you're totally OCD like I am, you may even flip your rolled cookie over to see which color pattern you think looks best.  Place cookies 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet.  Bake for 8 minutes or until lightly browned.

I saw some that had lollipop sticks baked in them.  I saw some color themed for holidays or birthday parties.  Can't you just picture them all pink and purple and yellow for a princess party?

A journey of a thousand miles...

I've done some really smart things in my life. Earned a place at a good college. Married a great man in the right place. Listened to my mother when she told me not to pick my nose. I've even been blessed with the strength to do a few amazing things. Like have 2 adorable children. Like lose 86 pounds.

But a week and a half ago I did something not so smart. Something I didn't have the strength to do.

I ran. Outside, on a trail. I was going to go for a little over an hour. It was a Saturday. The air was crisp, but not bitterly cold like it had been. I had very low expectations. I was prepared to slow to a walk at at least one or more points during my first outdoor run since high school.

Tyler knew the length of my run wasn't wise and warned me. But I knew I was in great shape, knew I'd be using different muscles, but thought my leaner, more toned body could handle it. I passed other runners and felt a sense of camaraderie that comes from finding someone else doing something that few people actually enjoy. I listened to Abba sing their greatest hits and pounded the dirt while Kelly Clarkson belted out a ballad.

I didn't stop to walk until my turn around point. I was doing great. I walked part of the way home, but I was okay with that. I ended up turning around later than I thought, but that was okay because I felt great. Part of the new me is this crazy part of my brain that tells me to keep going and going and going and going. And while I'm going, I feel pretty good.

The kids were dressed and ready to go when I got home to cool down and stretch. Tyler even got the Christmas lights down (finally). I was so proud of myself. For like 3 hours. You see, I could still walk for the next 3 hours, but the 10-24 after that, I could hardly keep one leg swinging in front of the other. That Saturday happened to be a day we were heading to Seattle to run some errands, like at a mall or two.

I have never had muscles so sore in my life. I couldn't hardly lift my leg into the car. The people bustling around me at each stop must've thought I had some serious medical problems because of the awkwardness in my gait and the stiffness in my legs. Needless to say, it was the longest shopping day of my life.

I admit it. Not the brightest bulb in the bunch here. I was sore for like a week. And I hurt my ankle. So now I can't exercise at all which is driving me totally bonkers. Why the public admission of stupidity? I dunno. So all you experienced runners can laugh at me. So someone else doesn't try what I did. So next time I'll be more careful. To say that I did it and because of the results may never do it again. And even though it hurt like heck I'm still in some crazy way proud of myself for running that long. Even though I may never do it again.

Ever.

Okay, friends. You can't leave me feeling like the hugest idiot ever. What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?

Recapping the recap.

I had the

BEST.

VALENTINE'S.

DAY.

EVER.

Thanks to these guys who partied with us all weekend long and even wrote about it, too. The only things I want to add to her witty synopsis of our day is that we got pink pancakes with whip cream and strawberries for breakfast. And we made these with the kids the day before (love that website. So many ideas for varying ages). And the cake pops. They taste as delectable as they are cute. So yummy. I recommend forgoing the 'pop' part and just make chocolate cake balls. Sinfully delish! The Banks brigade helped make V-day a great day. Love that fam!

But I have to say, it was mostly a good day because I just can't get over how much I love my husband. He spoils me something rotten. Really. I love how we decide not to give gifts to each other and then I get a ton of them. Flowers, chocolate, the twinner t-shirt, a mixed cd, the pedicure, a subscription to Real Simple (AAGGHH!! Can't wait for those to start arriving!), the movie 'Get Smart', the dinner, the dessert... I'll stop now before anyone gets too jealous. I'll just say again, I love my husband. His thoughtfulness always floors me, probably because I'm not nearly so thoughtful. Or because I believe him when he says we won't exchange gifts.

I find myself saying regularly lately that I just don't deserve the kind and loving people who have a small corner in their hearts for me. This is especially true of my sweetheart. Love you, babe!

Martha makes it look so easy...

Happy love day, friends.

To spread the love in our abode, Lainey and I decided to make these from Miss Martha.

Looks simple enough, right? She doesn't even number the instructions because it's sssooo basic. Who hasn't melted crayon shavings with an iron? And we've all got a bag full of crayons too small to save but can't bear throw away because that would just be plain wasteful. Perfect solution for Valentine colored nubbins right here, not to mention the fact that we have all supplies for this project on hand.

Lainey loves projects and LOVES holidays, gets it from her dad. So we tucked Brady in for his nap this afternoon and got to work. Well, actually, I got to work. Lainey watched.

Have you ever tried to sharpen crayons in a pencil sharpener? The wax builds up around the sides. And continues to build up. Until you can't make shavings any more. But before you can't make shavings, the crayon gets really hard to turn. Lainey's little hands just couldn't get that crayon to twist.

Plus we must have some really cheap crayons because they kept breaking. And they were already nubbins, so once they broke we couldn't shave them any more. It takes a TON of crayons to get a decent amount of shavings too. Like maybe 3 whole crayons. And did I mention we were working with nubbins?

And you know, Martha never mentions the static factor. Half the shavings are sticking to our hands because there is so much electricity running through our hot bods. Then, once or twice, you try to blow it off and back into the shavings bowl, but wait, that just blows it all right in your face. Yum . . . wax. In my mouth, on my floor. Everywhere.

So like an hour and a half later, we're hoping we got enough shavings. To the ironing board we go. Even had a paper sack on hand to protect my iron. Oh wait... the color seeps through brown grocery sacks. Remind me to clean that up before Tyler irons a nice white shirt.

Needless to say, the whole thing took the whole afternoon. And by the time I ironed all the wax paper, Lainey was more than done watching me do our project which actually was a good thing because after all the time I spent on this stinkin craft there wasn't any way on earth I was going to let her 5 year old scissor cutting skills near my hard work.

So I cut them into hearts, put them on a string and taped 'em in a window.

Martha's look way better.

Dang that Martha.

Next up, Bakerella's cake pops for my church class kids.

I must be a glutton for punishment.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Winter fun!

My men.

My family.

My kids.

My girl.

My sweetheart.

My life.

Sigh.

Love it.

You know you've still got a ways to go as a mother when...

It's 10 am and you have yet to change your sons diaper from last night.

You tell your kids that the train is broken (translation: batteries are dead) and they'll have to wait for Daddy to come home and fix it even though you are perfectly capable of changing the batteries. Who can stand listening to that thing all day anyway?

Your voice exceeds an appropriate decibel level more often than you care to admit.

You hear a fight breakout in the family room and opt to ignore it so you can continue thinking of ways you aren't the best mother that you can share with the blogoshere.

We can't be great mothers all the time, right? After my last post, in which I attempted to help us recognize what we do for our kids, I thought maybe I needed to keep it real.

Anything you want to confess?