Just in case you (or I) forget

that there are other cute people in residence at our house:

For Easter, one of my favorite quotes...

"We know that on some level Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It’s our faith that he experienced everything–absolutely everything. Sometimes we don’t think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don’t experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means Jesus knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer–how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student-body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked, and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.

There is nothing you have experienced as a woman that he does not also know and recognize. On a profound level, he understands about pregnancy and giving birth. He knows about PMS and cramps and menopause. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion.

His last recorded words to his disciples were, “And lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.” (Matthew 28:20) What does that mean? It means he understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say that the new baby has Down Syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only children who ever come are visitors, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years. He knows all that. He’s been there. He’s been lower than all that.

So do you really think you’re shielding him by keeping the door closed while you’re throwing paper plates on the table and sending Chrissie off to wash her hands for the second time? Do you really think he doesn’t know? doesn’t understand? wouldn’t laugh and help? "Oh no," you say." I couldn't let you do that." and you rush out, carefully closing the door behind you.

...But he’ll stay in that room if you put him there. The door to him is always open, but the door to you can be closed and stay closed - if you choose to close it. If one great constant in the universe is the unfailing love of the Savior, the other great constant is his unfailing respect for human agency. He will not override your will, even for you own good. He will not compel you to accept his help. He will not force you to accept his companionship. He leaves you free to choose.

I beg you to open the door and let him out of that room. Give him your whole heat, all the pieces, and let him heal you. He promises, "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13.) With all our hearts. That means we don’t have pieces of our hearts that he doesn’t touch or that aren’t relevant to him.

He’s not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came to save us in our imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He’s not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief.

You know that people who live above a certain latitude and experience long winter nights can become depressed and even suicidal, because something in our bodies requires whole spectrum light for a certain number of hours a day. Our spiritual requirement for light is just as desperate and as deep as our physical need for light. Jesus is the light of the world. We know that this world is a dark place sometimes, but we need not walk in darkness. The people who sit in darkness have seen a great light, and the people who walk in darkness can have a bright companion. We need him, and he is ready to come to us, if we’ll open the door and let him."

Chieko N. Okazaki, Lighten Up, p.174-176

Resolute.

New Years has come and gone. I've given nary a thought to the resolutions I made last New Years, mostly because I can't remember them. It's funny to me that the one big thing I did do this year probably wasn't something I resolved to do this past year on January 1st, 2008. It doesn't matter that I don't remember my list, because I'm sure weight loss wasn't on it. You know how I know? I always thought losing weight would be too hard. Just too much work, too time consuming, too life changing in a way that I wasn't ready for. Too impossible for me to even attempt.

I guess I was wrong.

Most people gain, on average, 10 pounds over the holidays. In the month of December, I lost 10 and 2 days before Christmas hit my final goal. I've lost 80 pounds. I've lost 34% of my former self. I've lost my double chin, my fat face, my fat body. If I wanted to be crazy I could keep going and lose 15 more pounds to get to my wedding weight, but I'm tired. A good tired. An accomplished tired.

It's been a good year. And as I sit here and think about what 2009 will be, I'm excited to find out with my new me. Not my new body, because that's just the outside. I'm talking about the new me on the inside- the one who accomplished a huge thing. The one who saw something about herself that she didn't like and changed it. The one who got up off her toosh and got to work. The one who kinda feels empowered. The one who feels like maybe resolutions made on a New Year's Day can be achieved.

It's about possibilities. I see so many more now than I did before my latest achievement. So many that aren't even about physical things. I see possibilities in every aspect of my life just because I set a goal, a big one, and I accomplished it. That means, to me, that all those other things I've thought I just couldn't do because they were too hard or things I thought I couldn't do because my personality just wouldn't allow it to be so are possible for my 2009.

I think the biggest lesson I learned from losing weight wasn't that eating healthy is good or that exercise makes you feel good or anything like that. I think the biggest lesson I learned was on the mornings I didn't feel like getting on the elliptical, the mornings when I muttered a prayer that went something like, "Heavenly Father, I don't want to do this. Do I have to workout today?" I think the biggest lesson I learned was in the moments following that prayer. I learned more surely that Heavenly Father gave us a cheerleader- the Holy Ghost. Not new information, but I learned just how loud this cheerleader can cheer. If someone would've told me on January 1st, 2008 that the Holy Ghost would help me lose weight, I wouldn't disbelieve them, because with God all things are possible, but I wouldn't have jumped right on the bandwagon. But I know better know. Never underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit's holy cheering!

2009 is gonna be a good year. I've got big goals, personal goals, and for the first time, I feel hope. I can do this. I feel resolute.

How do you feel about 2009, friends?

And I promise this is my last post about weight loss.... probably.

Small miracles in my life...

1. The fact that the tornadoes were in Kansas and NOT in Nebraska when we drove to Iowa.

2. The fact that there were NO tornadoes when we WERE driving through Kansas on our way home.

3. The invention of portable DVD players.

4. Our friend listing our house for free. (okay, that one isn't that small.)

5. Tyler driving safely to Washington by himself. (me and the kids to follow shortly)

6. Getting to church sans Tyler on time with both of my kids mostly clean (they decided to play in some dirt in their church clothes while Mom went to find keys...).

7. Lainey staying with her CTR class. This has been a challenge for a few weeks. She must know something is up.

8. Not causing bodily harm to anyone in my care. Pray for my sanity and my patience!

9. The new job hiring movers to pack and move our stuff. Thank goodness!



And now for a big miracle...

OUR HOUSE SOLD!!!!!

while we were out of town. The average around here is 90 days
on the market and that number is growing, so we feel so
blessed that we found buyers in 10!

This has been such a busy time for us. We had such a wonderful time with Becca and Dave and visiting the church history sites. Words cannot describe our feelings of gratitude to Becca and Dave for having us and our gratitude to those early Saints whose faith and obedience is unparallelled in modern times. As we took President Hinkley's invitation to walk down Parley Street in Nauvoo, down the Trail of Hope towards the Mississippi, I felt so grateful for their dedication to their faith and their perseverance to do what was asked.

"Those of us who can remember when we were compelled to abandon Nauvoo, when the winter was so inclement know how dark and gloomy the circumstances of the saints were, with the mob surrounding our outer settlements and threatening to destroy us and how trying it was to the faith of the people of God. The word was to cross the Mississippi and to launch out into an unknown wilderness- to go where, no one knew. Who knew anything of the terrors of the journey thither, or of the dangers that might have to be met and contended with? Who knew anything about the country to be traversed? Moving out with faith that was undisturbed by its unknown terror, it was by faith that this was accomplished." George Q. Cannon

I'm so thankful that they didn't give up or give in. Where would this truth be today if they had? I just can't imagine. Nor can I imagine the heartache that followed the walk out of Nauvoo and the challenges the pioneers faced on the trek west. What remarkable people they must be.

Sidenote: Did a session at the Nauvoo temple... there are YELLOW SILK couches in the Celestial Room. Gorgeous!

And the icing on the cake was getting an offer on our house. We close on the 13th. My heart is so overwhelmingly full of gratitude. It really is a miracle that it sold. I left the house for church today and it was not picked up enough for showings and I realized that what I had agreed to do (stay here with the kids until the house sold) might have been too much. Good thing the Lord realized that more quickly than I did and blessed us with well qualified and eager buyers!

After spending the morning at church, I have felt the spirit witness to me that Heavenly Father not only knows me, but that He is our Father and seeks to help us and bless us, even in our imperfections and failings. Certainly not new information, but always nice to remember how much we are loved and blessed. I keep trying to even the score by magnifying my calling, being a good visiting teacher, trying to teach my kids, serving the families in my ward, etc., but Heavenly Father just won't give me an inch! How grateful I am for the infinitely uneven score that I shouldn't be keeping anyway. And I am immensely grateful for the small and large miracles in my life.

Any miracles in your life? Please share!

If I wasn't writing this down...

Dear Lainey,


My darling girl, we've spent another conference weekend together, one I hope never to forget. If I wasn't writing this down I certainly wouldn't remember how I missed most of Saturday morning's session because you and your brother were distracting in good AND bad ways. If I wasn't writing this down I might not remember how you fell asleep yesterday afternoon, along with Mommy and Daddy (don't worry, we promise to read it all later...). If I wasn't writing this down, I probably wouldn't remember the psychedelic coloring job you did on Joseph F. Smith. He never looked so good, little one. If I wasn't writing this down I may not remember your impromptu ballet dance during the choir's beautiful music. I probably wouldn't remember that you fell and skinned your knees and had a mammoth sized tantrum after conference today, if I wasn't writing this down. And I'd probably forget all about the crazy hair-do we concocted together today and how your hair was inches shorter and feet wider from the curls, if I didn't write it down.


But most importantly, I wouldn't remember two special moments if I didn't write them down. And these are moments I don't want you to forget, either. You see, I will always remember the example you set for me today, my only-4-but-very-smart-little-daughter. As we listened this afternoon to Elder Ballard talk about being a mother, you taught me an important lesson, too. I listened intently, soaking up any advice an apostle can give me in this most important role of my life. As he said that those 'shining moments' as a mother come only sporadically, I thought of that Saturday morning before that was so trying and many, many other trying moments. I didn't know one of those good moments was just about to happen.


Elder Ballard also gave fantastic practical advice to me and to Daddy. And then, as you and Daddy cuddled on the couch, Elder Ballard said he wanted to speak to the children. And Daddy, being the good daddy that he is, made sure you knew to listen. And you did. What did he tell you, Lainey? Will you remember forever his council to you? Maybe not, but when he told you to 'put your arms around your mother' you climbed right off that snugly couch with Daddy and did just what that Apostle of the Lord asked you to do. That might have been the best hug I ever received. Thank you, sweet girl! And then, even more special, after our dinner I asked you to help me unload the dishwasher. Do you know what you said to me? "Sure, I'll help. Because that's what the Prophet said." You remembered that Elder Ballard asked you to help with the dishes. He isn't the prophet, but you got the gist, didn't you?


Lainey, if I wasn't writing this down, I might forget that you, at 4 years old, followed the council of Elder Ballard without hesitation. You really listened to what a man called of God said to you, didn't you? Thank you, my darling daughter, for helping me see the simpleness of the way. Thank you for showing me how easy it can be to follow the Prophet. Thank you for helping me feel hope in this oft times hopeless and never ending challenge that is motherhood. If I wasn't writing this down, I might forget these lessons you've taught me.

But now I'll remember. I wrote it down.

The runniest of noses

Are currently running at our house. Seriously, I've never seen so much green slime and goo pouring out of such little noses. We like to handle it like our friendly milk cow here, lick it on up! We are certainly fed up with illness this winter and are dreading allergy season. Research attributes the extended life expectancy of those of our faith to our rules for healthy living, or the Word of Wisdom, but I say its all about early exposure. Nursery. Immune systems are refined when surrounded by a dozen other little petry dishes like yourself. Here's hoping this week is better than the last.

And if you don't want to stare at the cow with the improper hygiene (that I found by google image searching under runny nose), check this out. Who knew there was a such thing as Mormon wiki?

The Real Rembrandt

So, I know you were all amazed at Lainey's artistic talent, but check out the talent that I saw last night by clicking here. A member of our stake owns over 200 original pieces from Old Masters like Rembrandt, Van Leyden, and Drur and put them on display at a Stake Center near us for free. It was amazing. Every piece was a depiction of a biblical story and they are all etchings and engravings. We went with the youth in our ward. I can't tell you how incredible the art was. And to see so many events I've read about my entire life and imagine being there was a spiritual experience. As I looked into Christ's face as He taught Nicodemus, I thought of what the Savior was teaching Him and felt in my heart my own testimony of the ordinance of baptism. I saw Mary and Joseph flee into Egypt with Jesus and sympathized with a mother fearing for her son's life. And as I looked at the various depictions of the Savior's body being taken down from the cross, I remembered the suffering of One so perfect. It was incredible. The art was incredible and the story IS incredible. Thats really all I can say. Take a look at the online exhibit.


PS While I was typing this, Lainey called Jesus on the phone to ask Him if her friend, Thomas, was feeling better yet and could come play.

President Gordon B Hinckley

We thank thee, O God, for this prophet and for his testimony and service to the Gospel of our Savior. We are so happy that he is again with his sweetheart!

Know Your Religion

This is an interesting article written by Ford Motor Company for their employees. It was written in February. From the 'Ford Interfaith' group as a message about theChurch. The Ford Interfaith group promotes unity by sharing information from all faiths and features these types of articles about all religions and faiths from time to time.

QUICK FACTS & INTERESTING TIDBITS About The Church ofJesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: Fleeing continued mob attacks, 158 years ago the first Mormon pioneers desperately started theirWestward trek from Illinois in the dead of winter. Of the 70,000 who began this 1300-mile journey, 6,000 were buried along the way, including many children.The following are quick facts and interesting tidbits about this now flourishing church.

OVERVIEW
* Named "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-daySaints"; informal nicknames are "LDS" or "Mormon."
* Believes it's the Lord's restoration of original Christianity as foretold to occur before Christ's Second Coming.
* Core focus is that Christ and His teachings bring happiness in this life and exaltation in the next.

HISTORY
* In 1820 14-yr-old Joseph Smith told of a vision of God and Christ foretelling a church restoration.
* Organized in New York in 1830, the church moved to near Cleveland, then near Kansas City, then Illinois.
* Fleeing Illinois, Mormon pioneers founded Salt LakeCity in Utah and over 600 other Western communities.

SALT LAKE CITY
* Temple Square in Salt Lake has over 5 million annual visitors, more than the Grand Canyon.
* The Mormon Tabernacle Choir is the world's most famous and has the world's oldest radio program.
* The Salt Lake Temple is the most famous, but there are 128 other temples built or underway. * Home of the world's largest genealogy database; visit it online or through 3,700 free branch libraries.

ACTIVE CONGREGATIONS
* Sunday services entail a three-hour block of three meetings; about 27,000 congregations exist worldwide.
* Highly vibrant programs exist for youth, children, singles, men, and women; very strong family focus.
* Everyone has a calling; some surveys show LDS have the highest U.S. attendance and service rates.
* Families receive personal fellowship visits at home from other members on a monthly basis.

FINANCES
* Members tithe 10 percent, plus donate generously to the needy the first Sunday of each month.
* Clergy and all other congregational positions are unpaid (however, much of the janitorial is paid).
* The church has no debt; all buildings are paid for in cash (average of two new congregations a day).
* The paid positions in Salt Lake are famously low-salaried; funds are frugally used and tightly audited.

HEALTH CODE
* With a health code from 1833, LDS avoid alcohol,tobacco, illegal drugs, coffee, and tea (herbal tea is ok).
* This 1833 code also teaches grains (especially wheat), fresh fruits and vegetables, and sparing use of meat.
* A UCLA study showed that active LDS live longer than most Americans, men by 11 years, women by 8.
* Utah is 50th in smoking, alcohol consumption, drunk driving, heart disease, cancer, and sick days.

EDUCATION
* With four colleges, Utah's BYU with 30,000 students is the largest single-campus private college.
* BYU Independent Study with 130,000 students is NorthAmerica (340 web courses, 530 via mail).
* Seminary, a daily class usually held around 6:00A.M., serves 376,000 high school students.
* There are Institutes of Religion at 1,950 colleges worldwide that serve 367,000 college students.
* The church operates schools in parts of the Pacific Ocean and Mexico for 10,000 students.
* Utah is 50th in spending per pupil, but first in adults that graduated from high school and attended college.

WOMEN
* In 1842 the "Relief Society" was organized; it's the largest women's organization in the world.
* Wyoming was first to allow women to vote; Utah was second, two months later, in 1870.
* Women preach from the pulpit and serve as organization presidents, teachers, committee chairs, etc.

SHARING CHRIST'S GOOD NEWS
* 61,000 missionaries serve in 165 countries; 93 percent are college-age; 22 percent are female. * Unpaid and paying their own way, most work 65 hours a week for two years, often in a new language.

MEMBERSHIP DISTRIBUTION
* LDS are 70 percent of Utah, 30 percent of Idaho; after Catholics, LDS are the largest sect in 10 states.
* The church has 5.5 million members in the U.S., making it the fourth largest individual U.S. denomination.
* Some memberships: New Zealand 95k, Japan 115k, UK175k, Philippines 500k, Brazil 900k, Mexico 925k.
* Worldwide 51 percent are female; about 55 percentare not Caucasian; about 70 percent are converts.

MEMBERSHIP GROWTH
* For the last 15 years, every day an average of 800+ people worldwide joined the LDS church.
* Half of the growth is in Latin America, but the rate of growth is highest in Africa and the former Sovietbloc.
* Worldwide membership just passed 12 million, a tenfold increase in 50 years.
* In 1984 a non-LDS professor estimated 265 million members by 2080; so far growth has been faster.
* As this growth has been steady, he said it will be the "first 'new' major world religion since Islam."

CHARITY/SERVICE
* Members in need obtain welfare from the LDS Church(thus Utah government welfare spending is very low).
* LDS donate time at 220 welfare storehouses or canneries and about 400 farms (a FL ranch is 312kacres).
* There are 210 employment centers placing over 175,000 people annually, and 64 family service centers.
* The church operates 46 thrift stores, in part to provide employment for the disadvantaged.
* The 61,000 missionaries spend half a day each week doing non-proselytizing community service.

HUMANITARIAN ASSISTANCE
* Over 200 million pounds of food, clothing, and medicine were donated in the last 20 years in 147 countries.
* Almost all of this help is to non-LDS; LDS charities also work with and donate to many non-LDS charities.
* Very rapid disaster relief has been given in 144 major disasters since 1986.
* Almost 3,000 welfare "missionaries" work without pay in 55 countries (farm instructors, doctors, teachers...) .
* LDS charities fund a wide variety of projects like drilling water wells or funding small business startup loans.
* New in 2001, members in poor areas can get low-rate college loans; 10,000 loans have been made to date.

GRAB BAG
* Utah is first in: charitable giving, scientists, household computers, children with two parents, and birth rate.
* Noted LDS included five senators, the Osmonds, Gladys Knight, Steve Young, and the inventor of TV.
* LDS played a key role in the 2002 Winter Olympics; the chair is now the governor of Massachusetts.
* Hawaii's #1 tourist site is the LDS PolynesianCultural Center (Tonga and the Samoas are one-third LDS).
* LDS have sponsored Boy Scout troops since 1913; 23 percent of all Scout troops are LDS.
* The BYU Women's Cross Country were national champions or in second place each of the last seven years.

DETROIT AREA
* The Detroit metro area has 30 congregations; the Dearborn chapel is on Rotunda by Ford's Building #5.
* Detroit has a temple, storehouse, cannery, employment and family service office, and family history libraries.
* LDS include former Governor Romney, three formerLions quarterbacks, and hundreds of Ford employees.

Way to get it right Ford! Did you learn anything new about your religion? And if this isn't your religion, but you have questions about it, click here.

Good Sabbath.

Things of note that happened this Sabbath day:

Lainey got her first CTR ring and she was SO excited. She's in love with her shiny new ring! When I picked her up from her CTR 5 class (where is the time going? She's growing up way too fast!), she was all aflutter with things she could do to choose the right. Top of the list: be nice to her brother. Hopefully wearing it will remind her to do just that!

Brady had his first 'I am a Child of God' Nursery lesson and I gotta say, the week Lainey had this lesson was shortly after she went to nursery and I was near tears when she walked out of nursery with her cute little bookmark with her picture on it and the words 'I am a Child of God' (which was still on our fridge until maybe a month ago), but Brady got picked up wearing this:

And I melted. He looked adorable. Plus he was really happy to see me, which never hurts the melt-ability of my mommy heart.

And more important than any news about my kids is the fact that we FINALLY have early church: 9:30 and I am in heaven. We've waited and waited and waited to get this time slot. And its finally happpened. So much better than the patience-trying, toddler crying, mom losing it 1 pm reverse block schedule of last year.

And the funniest thing that happened today: Tyler was cutting some chicken for dinner and Lainey had secretly indulged in the 'church bag' snack. Lainey snuck her contraband over to Daddy and asked if he wanted to share her spoils. Of course, Tyler said no, he was fasting. He wasn't eating because he was praying about something very important that he needed Heavenly Father and Jesus to help him with. Lainey was fine with that, but then she offered some to Mommy too, saying, "Daddy can't have any because Jesus is helping him cut the chicken." Hopefully we get the fasting concept eventually.

You Were Not There

I can't believe we are 4 days from Christmas! I'm feeling like we haven't emphasized the birth of our Savior enough around here! Sure, we've had the Family Home Evening lesson about the birth of our Savior. We've read Lainey our very accurate board book describing the very first Christmas (love it, by the way. Check it out here). We checked out a creche exhibit. We're faithfully reading our Christmas countdown book for the first time ever. But it seems that this holiday is slipping by without many thoughts of thanksgiving and gratitude on my part.

I've avoided it for years, but the business of this time of year that seems to overwhelm everyone else finally caught up with me. The funny thing is that I was 98% done with my Christmas shopping in November (yes, exactly 98, I calculated... okay not really). So I don't know what I'm so busy doing, but I've been busy. I've joined the club. And I want to get out! I want to go back to quiet Decembers spent with family and time to bake (and the energy to bake). I want to cuddle with my family and watch White Christmas in its entirety without falling asleep (twice, we've tried twice and failed to get through it). I want to remember the Miracle that has brought me Salvation, the Miracle that changed the world and changed me.

Tyler and I were listening to The Forgotten Carols. As we were listening, Tyler mentioned that his favorite of all the 'forgotten carols' was the Sheperd's song. I listened more intently as the CD continued to track 3, listened to what my husband found to be so remarkable. As this particular carol goes, a sheperd had fallen asleep and when he awoke his friends had a remarkable tale to tell him.

They said the angels told them
About the new-born king.
They had a star to guide them.
They heard the heavens sing.
They said that when they found Him,
They knew they'd never been the same.

And isn't that so true? When we've finally 'found Him' we truly are never the same, are we? And I began to see why Tyler loved this song so much.

And, yes, I did believe them
Though I'd not seen a thing.
I did not go to Bethlehem
Or hear the angels sing,
But there was something magic in the air
That made me feel as if I had been there.
I knew that as the world
Moves on through time,
There would be more stories just like mine
About the souls who've chosen to believe
In something that they never got to see.

I wasn't in Bethlehem just over 2000 years ago, I didn't walk the earth with our Savior, and I didn't see the pain He suffered in the Garden, but like this dear sheperd, I know He was born humbly, perhaps the humblest of all births, and that He came to this earth as the Savior of it. I am a soul who has chosen to believe in something that I never got to see.

And do you think you'll join us
Though you've not seen a thing?
You were not there in Bethlehem
Nor heard the angels sing.
But if you feel the spirit in the air,
Then, just like me, you'll know that
He was here...He was here
The king of king and Lord of lords was here,
He was here...He was here.
And He will come again, for He was here.

So for the next 4 days, I will "seek this Jesus of whom the prophets and apostles have written" and remember the ultimate gift given to me each and every day. I, like you, celebrate my testimony that He was here and He will come again.