The Christmas Letter that Didn't Get Written

Christmas Break has started and I am beyond excited to have my family home and snuggled with me for the next two weeks. This December has been crazier than most, but I bet everyone could say that. It seems to be the pace of our lives these days. As I kept slipping behind on my to do list, I finally gave up on 'doing it all' and skipped a Christmas letter to our family and friends. All our attempts at a family picture failed miserably and time just ran out to try again. Christmas picture fail #1: Lila manages to pull down her headband without anyone noticing. Brady's face is also worth noting.Fail #17: Lainey's crazy smile.
Fail #923: Lainey's crazy eyes. Brady's smile...

It was the one thing that just didn't get done in time. Tyler and I talked and we both felt that nothing much happened in 2010 so we wouldn't have much to say in a letter anyway.


Some time passed after this conversation, and Tyler said, "Well, Lila was born."


"Yeah, that is big news!" And oh, how we love that little angel!! She's 7 months old now and chows down on baby food and crawls (YIKES!) all over the house. I want to say she's a serious little thing, but that's not exactly true. She is chatty and playful, but reserves her smiles for those she loves most (Mommy, Daddy, Lainey and Brady!). She is a joy and a wonderful baby despite her reluctant smiles. My heart could burst from love for this little cutie!
And I had to include this one, because it was the best smile we got out of her at our little photo op:

So after Tyler's comment, my brain kept clicking along. And I said, "Tyler, your new job is big news."


Yep, Tyler got a promotion. There were a few months there where we didn't know what was happening and a move seemed likely for us. We've been in the 'burg for 2 and a half years and that seems to be our average length of stay in one place. An opportunity for Tyler to become publisher/president of the local paper he's been working at came up and he got the job! We're excited to stay and plan to buy/build a home here in 2011. Between his new job and his calling in the Young Men's group at church, we don't get to see him at home as much as we'd like, but we're learning to cope...


And Tyler reminded me that along with a new baby this year, I got a new calling as Primary President that has kept me extremely busy. To say that I am humbled by this responsibility is a gargantuan understatement. I tried to find a cute picture from the Santa Breakfast we (the Primary) put on, but every shot I'm in, I'm a blur because I was in constant motion. I've served in the Primary in this ward before Lila was born, so I know these kids and LOVE them dearly.


And since we're gushing about my family, I better mention my other 2 little darlings.


Lainey is in 1st grade. She is a fantastic reader and a great student. At her parent teacher conference her teacher said she could go a whole day without hearing Lainey say a single word. I don't know that that's true anymore because I've spent some time in the classroom which has helped her warm up some and her amazing teacher has really helped Lainey come out of her shell more. She LOVES to draw and write. My goodness, the girl has written on so much paper that she's probably single handedly used up a whole forest of trees! Her stories are always creative, cute, and hilarious! And recently her artwork was selected to hang in a local art gallery. She felt so special! She is growing up so fast and I love spending time with her older self, but miss dearly her days as my little girl!


Brady has only 9 or 10 more months until kindergarten. We're very excited to have him off to school. We've been doing a preschool co-op this year and I have had such fun watching him when he interacts positively with his friends. Of course, watching him interact negatively takes its toll as well. Unlike Lainey at this age, he wants to do everything himself. It can sometimes take him a long time to get it done, but he doesn't want help. He is very meticulous about his artwork and always spends time on the smallest details. Since this isn't a letter, but a blog post, I'm going to be more honest than I would a letter. Brady has been challenging this year and he continues to be. If you know any ways to motivate a four year old besides normal methods (bribes, loss of privileges, fear, positive encouragement, etc.) PLEASE let me know. I'm hoping to understand him better in 2011. I love him dearly and his spontaneous hugs and kisses when he's happy are a delight!


So 2010 wasn't as uneventful as we initially thought, I suppose. We are, as always, mindful of how we've been blessed this year. Wow. It's overwhelming just thinking about the numerous blessings we've received. We are thankful for this wonderful life we've been given. Can't wait to spend this holiday break reveling in it!!!!

Merry Christmas!

A name and a blessing

The Lady of the hourHow do you buckle all that lace?

The fam...

Mommy and her favorite child (just don't tell the others...)

The kiddos...

Lovin' on Lila

Cousins born just days apart. Betcha wouldn't of guessed that Shayne came AFTER Lila! Such cuties!!!!

Cousins being silly

Papa and Shayne

We had a great weekend. Love having family over. We ate LOTS of good food, played, and chatted. Not pictured above (darn it!) were my mom and dad. Gotta get some pictures of the kids with them!

Who came to your house for lunch?

Because we served a full house. Appetites varied from pickles to noodles to brocolli to cakes and mini mini muffins. Some people had appetites that were quadruple (or more... but I don't know the word for it) their size. The horse loved his pizza and ate every bite!
Their waitress was fabulous and oh-so-cute!


The bus boy...

And we can't forget my favorite part- the management!

Best week ever...

We left the 'Burg last week for some much needed R and R. Grandma had the best rates, accommodations, and attractions, so we headed to the 'west side' as we Burgians like to call it. I don't know if I was just desperate for a break from the everyday or if Mom and Dad's is really that fun, but I had a GREAT week and so did my kids. Just so we don't forget the fun, here is a rundown of what we did:

-went to White's to window shop. May sound lame to you, but definitely gets you in the holiday spirit and I LOVE it!
-had a family dinner with my brother and his family on Sunday with some awesome pumkin bars/cake made by Shannon, recipe from Paula Deen (you need to make these, so good!)
-went to IKEA, bought fun stuff, and we had lunch there- first time I've ever eaten there! Swedish Meatballs, yum!
-went to the temple with my Dad. Loved it.
-went halfway to Canada for Thanksgiving with the Somes. Just like the good ol' days!
-went Black Friday shopping for the first time ever! Crazy, crazy, crazy!!! But we are 95% done Christmas shopping, just have 2 things to buy online.
-visit with the Miller brothers and their families. So nice to see family and that free children's museum was off the hook! (does anyone say that anymore?)
-went to Molbaks Nursery and saw every kind of Poinsettia there is (holy cow, there's a lot)
-took my kids and my mom, the former children's librarian, to the Seattle Children's Theatre to see an adaptation of 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie'. Grandma and I agree. We don't know what was better: the actual show or hearing Lainey and Brady laugh through the entire thing! It definitely was the highlight of the week for us. Hopefully the boys loved watching a little uninterrupted football while we were out.
-played lots of cards, colored oodles of pictures, and chatted it up in between!

And if you think I took any pictures of anything at all, then you are WRONG! Since Santa and I made a rather large purchase on Black Friday, I know this problem of lack of photographic evidence will be remedied after Dec. 25th. Thanks for a fun week, Mom and Dad!!!!!!

Better late than never...

A cute little witch and a Charlie Brown ghost. The ghosts on that cartoon are so much cuter in animation than when you try to do it in real life! By the end of the day, the eye holes turned into a head hole and I was Brady's maid of honor, carrying his train of white fabric all around town! Wasn't Brady's favorite costume. Lesson learned, next year will be Spiderman. By the way, I post nearly zero pictures of Brady, and here he finally is and all you get is an ankle!!!

The Sound of Silence

I never thought this moment would come. Actually, I knew it would come, I just really never anticipated having it yet.

My house is empty. Well, except for me. Lainey's at school and Brady is at a playdate. I can hear the clock ticking, literally.

I'm lost without them.

I've never been the kind of mom who seeks after alone time, never needed to hide in a closet. Oh, I've had my moments of frustration, for sure. And I've declared loudly that I needed girl time, but usually it was because I wanted to go have a little fun more than it was because I was sick to death of my children.

I decided to use my two free hours perusing Fred Meyer. It's the only place to 'shop' in town and Lainey needed some leggings. I've never really complained about taking my kids shopping with me. It's no sunny day beachside in the Bahamas, but it's also not being strapped to the dentist's chair while a drill hums expectantly in the background. While in Freddie's, I meandered. Yes, that is a complete sentence. And just ponder on that for a moment. I am a mother, I am busy taking care of my family, and today, I meandered. It was a beautiful thing. Unfortunately, there is only so much to peruse at Fred Meyer, so I came home to my empty house.

On my way home, I thought about these lonely hours I now need to fill. You wanna know why this seems so odd? Because it wasn't really my plan. When I had my first baby, I thought I would just keep on having babies until I was done. My house would just circle through all stages of babyhood and toddlerhood and youth until I was 'done'. But what we expect to happen isn't always what actually happens. And for some reason, that has been a hard truth for me to learn. Things always work out 'how they should' in the end, but having faith that 'how they should' is really how things should go when 'how they should' isn't what your 'how they should' was when you started this whole thing is hard to accept. At least for me. But maybe I'm the only one that struggles with that. And maybe I'm the only one that understood that particular sentence. Either way, it's cathartic to write it down.

I get to go pick up Brady now. Then we pick up Lainey. 2 hours really isn't that long, but I think I'm going to need some good ideas of things I can do to fill this time. I could read my current book (Catching Fire, second book in the Hunger Games trilogy. Pretty darn good.) but I can do that later. Any ideas, ladies? I'd love to go to a movie by myself, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any showings at 9 a.m. What I really need is a Target to get lost in...

Worry Wart

I'm a self proclaimed worry wart. I worry about a lot of things a lot of the time. I come by my worrying naturally, just ask my mother. Can I share one of my latest worries with you? I know its only our first week, but my poor daughter looks so forlorn on the school playground. We arrive to school with enough time for her to play, but she just stares at the people around her. She tried to play with a friend from soccer, but the friend has her own agenda and doesn't really need someone to tag along with her. So there my baby stands, alone, gazing at the dozens of children joyfully relishing their last few moments before the bell sounds. I stand back and give her a chance to figure it out, but, gosh, my heart is breaking! I want to shout to all those other kids that they'd be lucky to have a friend as nice as Lainey and that she is the best at make believe and she (almost never) cheats in games and she knows great jokes! But I hold back because going to school is a lot about finding independence, right? It's the first week. I gotta stop worrying and give her time. But a fashion maven such as this

must have a pretty spectacular personality, right? Flowered shirt, heart shorts and striped socks. . . If only I had such self assurance!

Ready to Learn and Get Some Knowledge!

First day of School! First day of School!

This girl had her first day of school today! I didn't cry, she didn't cry. Brady, however, did. He desperately wanted to stay and play. She's in am kindergarten and every five minutes from about 10:15 till we picked her up at 11:15 Brady asked me if we could go get Lainey. Don't know if he was excited to ride his bike to the school again or if he was really anxiously awaiting big sister's return, but for her sake, we'll say it was the latter.

I wish I could report all the fun things she did, but, sadly, she didn't have much to say other than it was fun and she was good. I guess that's something, right? She did learn to play 'copycat' at music time. Isn't that lovely?

BTW, I chose bag #3, in the butter yellow. Love it.

Was it worth it?

We've been paying a pretty steep tuition every month.

She's complained about going repeatedly.

We've suffered through the required pony tail-ing required for class each week.

We even did fund-raisers for the studio. (don't even get me started on that one)

Tyler spent a good hour or so repairing the silly, costly, and yet extremely cheap costume after one rehersal.

I actually volunteered to chaperone 8 little prima-donas for 10 plus hours the week of the performance. (I'm crazy, I know.)

Was it worth it? You tell me.

Spring...

We had a beautiful day here in the 'Burg yesterday. The kids got to play outside. I was thrilled! I've waited for this day all winter long. And it was a long winter. I even wrote a post about it, but waited to publish it until I had the perfect picture. Today started off much the same. Sun shining, birds twittering, no chilly bite in the air today! Surely I'd get a perfect 'Spring has arrived' picture today. But first, off the kids went to play. Those glorious moments of a quiet home while the kids play are treasures for a mother to be sure.

But then things started to get troublesome. The mud puddle was a hot spot for playing yesterday as evidenced by the cake like brown stuff all over shoes and pant knees, so my first foray outside was to ask them to find something else to play outside. Suprisingly, they complied although nothing can be more exciting to a budding imagination than fresh mud, can it?

Bugs. Bugs can be more exciting to a budding imagination. Although I personally don't see the interest, I understand the necessity for my children to have a healthy amount of curiousity about all things creepy crawly and left them to their play. Only when they decided to throw rocks at the bugs that were on the house did I venture outside for a second time.

I went back inside, intent on getting some packing done while I watched Barefoot Contessa whip up a delicious treat. A few minutes later I realized Lainey and Brady must've found something else exciting to do outside because all was quiet from the back door. After a few of those treasured, quiet moments, Lainey bursts in.

They had found a pet.

They made him a salad but he wasn't hungry.

It was like a spider, but it was maybe a mouse.

His eyes were open, Mom!

They named him something, but I don't remember what because at that precise moment Brady walked in waving his little fist excitedly, fingers clutched around something small and gray...their new pet.

A dead mouse.

A girly screech eeked out of my throat and I started yelling at Brady to get it out of the house. We washed hands and discussed that we don't touch outside animals ever. Especially dead ones. And we certainly don't proudly wave them in Mom's face.

Knowing I'd share the story with you, I took a picture of the thing sitting on my back porch where Brady tossed it because I haven't gathered the courage to go give it a proper burial in a garbage sack. But then I thought that a picture of my dead mouse isn't really the perfect spring picture, is it? So all you get is the story.

You can thank me later.


Happy spring, friends.

In other news, Lainey has her first bonafide loose tooth. Big things happening around here, yessiree.

So this is love...

Last Saturday night (the Saturday that was a week ago, not yesterday) Lainey and I were rushing and scrambling to get ready for a little excitement.  We had to get all dolled up and glamified for a night out in the 'Burg.  Tyler and I had wisely not mentioned our little girl's night out until earlier that afternoon.  Who wants to hear "Is today the day we...?"  or "Is it Saturday yet?" all week long.  Because if you have kids you know exactly what I'm talking about.  At our house, we avoid these types of interrogations at all costs.  Secrecy is a vow that we keep as parents in order to keep our sanity. 

But we broke our sacred vow of secrecy that fateful afternoon because the thing we were going to was that night.  And boy was she thrilled.  Mommy was thrilled, too, because more than I love my sanity, I love being the one to make my daughter thrilled.  She even put itchy tights on without fuss!  Miracle of miracles!  As I rushed to get ready, I asked Tyler to double check the location we were heading to.  He kindly went to the computer to look it up.

"Ty, where is it at?"  I shout, wondering what could be taking so long.

"Honey, what day is today?"  He shouts back.  Huh?

"It's March 7th, right?"  I say, thinking, Why would he ask me that?  I am a stay-at-home-mom.. all my days mesh together.  I hardly remember that days are numbered. 

I hear Tyler walking toward the bathroom.  He meets my eyes in the mirror.  

"Carrie."  Dramatic pause.  "It's not until next Saturday.  It's March 14th."

What?!?!  Oh no.  She's going to be so disappointed.  She even put itchy tights on without a fuss.   The poor girl is going to be heartbroken.  There go all those brownie points I earned that afternoon.  Sigh... 

Oh.  no.  No way.  Ahhh, man.  She's going to be asking me if it's Saturday yet all week!  That dreaded repetitive annoyance that is a child's inability to understand the concept of time would be my plague all week due to my inability to read the darn ad.

So after the tears of a young girl's broken heart and our attempt at salvaging our 'special' night (a trip to the movie store for Tinkerbell and some licorice), I waited for the barrage of questions to begin.  Fortunately, we had Tinkerbell for the whole week as a distraction, but unfortunately we couldn't watch Tink shake her bells all day every day.  We did make it through the week, of course.  Wasn't nearly so bad as I thought, of course.  Lainey's a much better kid than I give her credit for... of course.  So...

After our week of waiting and much anticipation, Lainey and I got all dolled up and glamified once again last night.

And made a real night out of it by going to dinner first.  (Every five seconds she wondered if it was time to go yet and if we were going to be late and if it would start soon and how much longer till we got to go and if she ate enough of her pasta so we could leave)

And then the dream that was a wish in Lainey's 5 year old heart came true.  We watched our local ballet company (Ellensburg's got a ballet company...you can find 'culture' anywhere, I guess) perform their production of Cinderella.  We even got to meet Cinderella after the show!  

And after all that excitement and due to the lateness of the show, we couldn't quite make it home before our eyes got heavy.  (hers, not mine.  No falling asleep at the wheel for me!)

One of my favorite things Lainey says is after a long day like this particularly exciting Saturday.  "Mom, we had a lot of day today."  And it was fun, too!!!

The first thing I said to Tyler when we got home was that he could take her next time.  And if you have ever done something special with your kids, you know this was a huge concession on my part because I would love to horde more than my fair share of Lainey's magic moments and be the one who always saw her eyes sparkle at new experiences, but that wouldn't be fair.  She's half of Tyler, so he deserves to have that face from moments like that etched into his memories just like it is in mine.

Another page in my journey through motherhood filled with sweet memories.  So this is love... loving her face, loving having time for just the two of us, loving being able to give her a small part of what the world has for her to experience, loving her smiles and her joy at simplicity, at creativity, at beauty.

Hot Date Saturday Night

Last Saturday, Ty and I had a hot date.

This Saturday, Lainey, Brady, and I had a hot date.

I'm a lucky girl, aren't I?

We didn't go to a fun restaurant or play a borrowed Wii this week, but instead, stayed in playing with dough that was totally edible (after it was baked... or before it was baked, too, but gotta watch that raw egg business) and yet totally inedible looking.  Ahh, the magic of artificial food coloring.  

If you find yourself in need of a fun project for you and your kids, try these cookies!

Play Dough Cookies

3/4 c. butter, softened

3 oz cream cheese, softened (we used the less fat stuff)

1 c. white sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 3/4 c flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

assorted food coloring

1.  In a bowl, cream butter, cream cheese and sugar until fluffy.  Add egg and vanilla.  Beat until smooth. 

2.  In a bowl combine flour, baking powder, and salt (who really does this???  I just plopped it all in with the wet ingredients).  Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture.  Stir until soft dough forms.

3.  Divide dough into fourths.  Tint each with a different food coloring.  The trick is to use good food coloring.  No, all food coloring is not created equal.  A gel or paste food coloring works best.  The liquid drops will just make pastel colored dough.  For a bright, vibrant colored cookie you gotta get the good stuff.  Wilton's gel food coloring works great.  Wrap each color in plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours.  I just put ours in the freezer for 20 minutes.  It worked great.

4.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Shape colors into balls.  The recipe I have says to shape it into 3/4 inch balls, but this, in the end, will make ginormous cookies, so we made ours half that size and they turned out great.   The kids loved making the balls.  If there is one thing any 2 and 5 year old can do, it's make a ball out of play dough.

5.  For each cookie, put one ball of each color together and roll it into one giant ball.

6.  Roll each multi-colored ball into a snake about 12 inches long.  You now understand why this was such a hit.  Balls and snakes.  More balls and snakes.  Until they were utterly sick of making balls and snakes.  Lainey and Brady loved it!  Starting at one end coil roll to make the cookie.  If you're totally OCD like I am, you may even flip your rolled cookie over to see which color pattern you think looks best.  Place cookies 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet.  Bake for 8 minutes or until lightly browned.

I saw some that had lollipop sticks baked in them.  I saw some color themed for holidays or birthday parties.  Can't you just picture them all pink and purple and yellow for a princess party?

Winter fun!

My men.

My family.

My kids.

My girl.

My sweetheart.

My life.

Sigh.

Love it.

Link-a-palooza

I wanted to show you pictures from our fun weekend. But our computer is freaking out. I wanted to show you who came to visit and what we celebrated and how we played, but all I've got are words since the computer won't work long enough for me to upload pictures to a post. Instead of pictures, I give you links. Here's the linked version of what we've been up to, what we'll be up to, and what we're thinking (and by we, I mean me):

Papa and Tutu (Ty's parents) came to visit for Lainey's 5th birthday! We had so much fun. We went downtown and watched the printing press at the paper run. We drove over and saw Snoqualmie Falls. The flow was high (is this the right term????) because there had been lots of rain. It was incredible. We went to Puget Sound Energy's Wind Farm (20 minutes outside of town... its like the only tourist attraction in the county) and we got to go inside a windmill. It was pretty cool. But most importantly, we celebrated Lainey's birthday! I can't believe we've made it five years! Grandma and Grandpa drove over for the evening (4 hours of driving for 4 hours of party...) and Lainey was spoiled with love! This was the first time she actually understood she could get what she asked for, or maybe it was just the first time I cared to listen. She wanted the Barbie Diamond Castle Doll and she got it. Her face, that joy, I just love being a mom. The doll is annoying, as it sings by the push of a button, but she loves it and all her other presents, so I guess I can be happy for her.

And just for a little Wahoo!, Tyler filled up my van from empty to full for $32.27 on Monday, and the price has dropped another .05 a gallon since then! I know it's a sign that the economy is not good, but I can't help but be a little excited that gas is getting more affordable. $1.83 a gallon... makes my heart sing! Now instead of making 10 billion dollars off of the gas guzzling Americans, all the oil sheiks will only get 5 billion!

Going to see Twilight tonight. That last book really ruined the series for me. I'm not excited to see the movie at all. I am excited that I've finally convinced some women here to hang out with me outside of church. Only took, what, 5 months. Geez. I'll be giving my always insightful, objective, and detailed review soon, I'm sure.

Turkey day next week. I've never been more excited for the holiday. I keep telling myself to work hard with the diet and exercise till that day because I am not counting calories eaten or burned for that glorious, glorious day. Or at least I'm going to try not to. It's so ingrained in me that i doubt I'll be able to totally let it go. I'm determined to make this chocolate pumpkin pie I saw in the latest Martha Stewart Living mag. And I'm making this apple, sausage, cranberry stuffing. It's gonna be good. If 882 reviewers thought so, how can it be otherwise? Lainey is actually writing my list while I spell it for her as we speak... or type... or read... or whatever. And it is as hard to do as it sounds. Type and spell, that is...

Tyler's been spending his time browsing this site. Have I told you how much he loves shopping on Black Friday? This year won't be quite as fun for him as years previous, but he's been scoping out where the best deals are for what we need. Like, maybe a new computer. One that will let me upload that adorable picture of Lainey right before she blows out her candles.

And Santa, if you happen to read this here blog, I was serious when I said don't get me anything for Christmas since I'll be taking care of myself by way of the new wardrobe I've yet to purchase, but anticipate doing so soon and with much joy. But since I know you so well, Santa dear, here is the one thing I want that you could get me if you just can't help yourself. Or you could tell one of the retired Santas we know that they could gift it to me this year. I really, really want it.

In case your Santa stops by this here blog too (and because I'm just curious by nature), what do you really, really want for Christmas? No intangibles (like world peace, or a turn in the economy). What do you want under that tree? If you're worried your Santa won't be stopping by to read your comment, you can always write him a letter and check out his blog here. Everyone has a blog, don't they?

The advantages to a small town...

Can you believe I forgot to take pictures of Halloween? Luckily we live in a fun little 'Burg where all the businesses trick-or-treat Halloween afternoon, and the local newspaper even takes pictures of all the 'Burg's children. And then they publish them in the paper the next day. I happen to have a very close connection to someone down at the local paper and was able to wheedle this little gem out of him.





Now if only I could convince my family to chuck the candy! Oh, and here are some fab fall cookies if you've got a hankering. Ya know, for after that Fun Size Snickers bar. Gosh, you'd think I wasn't on a diet at all by reading this, wouldn't you?

From Patch to Porch...

Lainey designed her own jack-o-latern this year. I personally love the fang. Now if only she'd gut the pumpkin and cut it out too, this might be a tradition I could enjoy....

The haunted house is, of course, Tyler's masterpiece this year. It's amazing!

Take Two

Remember this from last year?

Well, my friends, our annual primary program was Sunday. Before I tell you how it went, I need to tell you that on Friday morning I got an email from our sweet Primary President. Apparently last Sunday (the week before the program) Lainey had a meltdown at the microphone. Wouldn't say her part. Wanted her Mommy. Died of embarrassment. Cried buckets. In front of everyone in her primary. So the president emailed me, wondering what they could do to help. Friday afternoon, Lainey, Brady, and I trekked to the 'rehearsal' to see if having mom in the audience would soften her nerves. Nope, she still didn't want to do it.

Last year, she had no speaking part and slept through it. It looked like this year, although she had a speaking part, wouldn't be much better. In fact, it might be very traumatic for her to even try. This blows my mind. I'm loud, outgoing, and about as un-shy as you can be. My shy daughter is a mystery to me. I find myself, at times, without compassion for the quiet persona my daughter portrays for the world. She's not quiet at home. She's loud. What's the big deal?

So we practiced her part like crazy. I bribed her with gum, which is typically reserved for people over the age of five. We talked about it a lot. And then it was Sunday morning. The bishop was inviting the children to the stand. Momentary hesitation passed over Lainey's eyes. Nope, I thought, she's not chickening out. She's doing this. Get her out of our pew before all the other children pass otherwise she'll never go up. And what child was the wiggliest? Who's child was making funny faces? What family was waved at from the pew the most? My child. Our family. And when her turn came, she said her part. And she said it so cute! "We have a prophet (pause, then with a dramatic crescendo) who leads the church!" She did great. We talked about how brave she was. I asked her how it feels to be brave. "Feels great!" Sure does, sweetie!

That kind of day...

What kind of day??

The pajama-wearing, fort-in-the-family-room kind.

Replete with drinks, snacks, toys, and coloring stuff as per the requests of tent dwellers. Pants are suggested, but not required.

Happy Monday.

Generally Specific

I just finished making your fav lunch, Lainey and Brady. Mac n cheese. Okay, maybe it's not your favorite, but you both love it and eat tons of it, so that's close enough to favorite in my book. As I hollered upstairs for the 5th time for you guys to come down and eat, I stirred those little noodles into orange oblivion and thought about how many lunches I've made for my little brood. This year marks my fifth year as a mother... your mother. An overwhelming thought, really. So long, yet so short. I wondered as the cheese dissolved how many more boxes of processed, cheesy, noodle-ness I'd make. My blue boxes aren't quite numbered yet, since we have plans to eventually give you two some more siblings, but the days with you two are. You're getting older. My baby isn't a baby any more! It's taken a new nephew to really see how big you are, Brady! And Lainey, this is your last year at home with me before kindergarten. Don't tell anyone, but I'm pretty certain this is why I didn't push too hard to get you into a preschool. I'm going to miss you next year!!!



Anyway, back to the lunch you've now devoured. As I stirred and listened to feet clomping down the stairs (finally), a question popped into my head.



Is this everything you thought it would be, Carrie?



I think it came from a place of frustration at the growing pile of dishes, the crayons scattered (again) on the dining room floor, or just the plain repitition of herding you two (shouting up the stairs) without having to physically herd you down for lunch.



I paused.



I looked at the pan and the mac n cheese that I've made countless times, thought of the monotony of stay-at-home mommying.



And I gave the question a serious moment of reflection. Is this everything I thought it would be? Specifically? No. No way. But generally? It's so much better than anything I could've thought motherhood could be.



Specifically, I didn't think of the countless sippy cups I would fill. I didn't think of the number of words I would utter that would be totally disregarded. I didn't think of the teeth brushing, the laundry, the diapers, the laundry, the meal preparation, the tantrums, the laundry. I just thought of that tiny little one belonging with me and Tyler. Specifically, I knew of the late nights and nursing, but I didn't realize that those things are short lived and not as important as other specifics. I didn't think of the teaching involved with motherhood. The teaching I would give, and the teaching I would receive. I didn't specifically think of the moments of doubt and uncertainty in raising another person to go out into the world armed with knowledge, confidence, and faith. Specifically, motherhood was completely what I expected... until Lainey hit about 2. Then all my expectations went out the window and I started treading water.



Because specifically, motherhood is hard. And when Lainey turned 2, all the specifics I'd read and studied about no longer applied. So here I am, treading water. Sometimes dipping too low into the water, getting too wet, splashing too much. Sometimes, I get tired. But I'm still here. There are a few reasons why I've been able to stay afloat, though. A major reason is your daddy. He's right there with me motivating me, buoying me up, doing what is needed. But you two, Lainey and Brady, are the biggest reason why I find the energy to keep treading. Your smiles, your unprompted 'thank you's, your kisses, your excitement.



Specifically, I didn't think of all those things. I knew children loved their mothers, and mothers loved their children, but I didn't know how good that feels. Specifically, I couldn't know the warmth I would feel in my heart, cuddling in a twin bed with my four year old daughter for a bedtime story. Specifically, I couldn't know the feeling of maternal pride while watching a 2 year old throw a football. I wouldn't know the sound of the laughter that I could make come from my children by dancing like a fool in the family room. Specifically, in anticpating motherhood, I couldn't have known how having kids, not babies, could be so magical and imaginitive... for me. I couldn't have expected the happiness I'd feel watching my children learn and explore. Specifically, those are the moments that -for me- make motherhood generally unexpected.

Tradition! Tradition! (think Tevyah from Fiddler on the Roof)

Have you ever avoided something because it just seemed too monumental? Too large of a task to complete? Too big a hill to climb?

This is what blogging about life is feeling like for me because we've done SO many fun things this month and I've fallen behind and don't feel like I can catch up. With 690 pictures in my August 2008 folder, it isn't a wonder we've lacked time to blog. So, here is my lame, disjointed attempt at catching up. Enjoy.


We've been enjoying the winding down of our summer with traditions old and new, family old and new (just one new little guy), and friends old and new. I've been thinking about my childhood and have watched my kids treasure moments that seem straight from pages in my own memory. I've hoped that these memories and others like them will follow given council and "make it easier for our children to follow the living prophets" though at the moment they seem like just great family fun. And as our traditions revolve around fun for now, I hope our traditions will also be "steady and unchanging in doing that which is good [so] our traditions become firmly rooted in righteousness" Traditions teach us what is important. We've started and continued various traditions this month...

....traditions of special Daddy and daughter moments, like Saturday afternoon dates

that start with a short nap on the way,

and end with smiles all around.

(WALL-E. They both loved it!)

And traditions of close cousins and hours of time spent together.

(Brady, Wesley, Sydnie, Lainey, and Lucy)

(Syd and Lainey)

Traditions of love...

(Lucy and Betsy)

And simple, wholesome fun.

(Brady blowing bubbles at the pool.)

Aunt Betsy and the Nightgown girls rockin out to the Mamma Mia soundtrack. Have you seen it? Mamma Mia? Well, you should! So fun!

(bowling with cousins and kids. I think the kids outscored the moms...)

And traditions of nature and of childhood pleasures.

(Thanks Laurie, for these great shots of Jetty Island- one of my most favorite places in the world.)

Traditions of exploration

(digging for clams)

(collecting seashells)

And friendship.

Traditions of treasure hunting.

(crab leg and Wes)

(note the kelp and bird feathers found on a nature walk)

And new traditions of 'send me on a mission' hair cuts.

before

after... my baby is growing up!

Traditions of work and self reliance.

And traditions of family time.

Waiting for the parade to pass us by!

checking out the horses at the county fair

cow barn with Mom and Brady

And traditions of celebration.

my cowboy and me

Tyler and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary last week and went on a date... to the rodeo. Not the most romantic venue but oh so fun!

As we hit this 7 year mark, it feels like an accomplishment, bigger than the last few anniversaries. This partnership is a tradition of sorts. It's a tradition of dedication, of love, of sacrifice and compromise. Its a tradition of laughter and joy and of hard work. Its a tradition of family and eternity and of learning. Cliches are cliches for a reason, and I'm going to use a few now. I couldn't have imagined on my wedding day how much more I would love my husband today than I did on that day. And as the years have passed, I haven't been surprised at this greater love. But what I will say is a little surprising is that not only do I love him more, but I am more in love with him that I was that day.

As we teach our children traditions, I hope they remember that this tradition of love and commitment is important and sacred. And I hope they see that in our relationship. I hope that all these traditions build a foundation for their lives that, as Sister Lant said, 'roots them in righteousness' because there is no place better to be rooted.


It's been a good month. Busy, but good.