Resolute.

New Years has come and gone. I've given nary a thought to the resolutions I made last New Years, mostly because I can't remember them. It's funny to me that the one big thing I did do this year probably wasn't something I resolved to do this past year on January 1st, 2008. It doesn't matter that I don't remember my list, because I'm sure weight loss wasn't on it. You know how I know? I always thought losing weight would be too hard. Just too much work, too time consuming, too life changing in a way that I wasn't ready for. Too impossible for me to even attempt.

I guess I was wrong.

Most people gain, on average, 10 pounds over the holidays. In the month of December, I lost 10 and 2 days before Christmas hit my final goal. I've lost 80 pounds. I've lost 34% of my former self. I've lost my double chin, my fat face, my fat body. If I wanted to be crazy I could keep going and lose 15 more pounds to get to my wedding weight, but I'm tired. A good tired. An accomplished tired.

It's been a good year. And as I sit here and think about what 2009 will be, I'm excited to find out with my new me. Not my new body, because that's just the outside. I'm talking about the new me on the inside- the one who accomplished a huge thing. The one who saw something about herself that she didn't like and changed it. The one who got up off her toosh and got to work. The one who kinda feels empowered. The one who feels like maybe resolutions made on a New Year's Day can be achieved.

It's about possibilities. I see so many more now than I did before my latest achievement. So many that aren't even about physical things. I see possibilities in every aspect of my life just because I set a goal, a big one, and I accomplished it. That means, to me, that all those other things I've thought I just couldn't do because they were too hard or things I thought I couldn't do because my personality just wouldn't allow it to be so are possible for my 2009.

I think the biggest lesson I learned from losing weight wasn't that eating healthy is good or that exercise makes you feel good or anything like that. I think the biggest lesson I learned was on the mornings I didn't feel like getting on the elliptical, the mornings when I muttered a prayer that went something like, "Heavenly Father, I don't want to do this. Do I have to workout today?" I think the biggest lesson I learned was in the moments following that prayer. I learned more surely that Heavenly Father gave us a cheerleader- the Holy Ghost. Not new information, but I learned just how loud this cheerleader can cheer. If someone would've told me on January 1st, 2008 that the Holy Ghost would help me lose weight, I wouldn't disbelieve them, because with God all things are possible, but I wouldn't have jumped right on the bandwagon. But I know better know. Never underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit's holy cheering!

2009 is gonna be a good year. I've got big goals, personal goals, and for the first time, I feel hope. I can do this. I feel resolute.

How do you feel about 2009, friends?

And I promise this is my last post about weight loss.... probably.